TOP STORY: Chanting 'Ingerland' thanks to the web

Hamish Bidwell
To paraphrase the great Liverpool anthem, You'll Never Watch Alone with a web cam. And, right now, Englishman Andrew Hazell is very glad of that.
With his home land going World Cup crazy, Hazell's mind has been full of images of a nation swathed in the cross of St George flag and pubs rocking to the chant of "Ingerlund, Ingerlund, Ingerlund."
It all made the prospect of sitting alone in front of the TV here in Clive seem like pretty flat beer in comparison.
But being a resourceful sort of chap, Hazell came up with a novel solution to being stuck on his Pat Malone: he'd watch the games with his friends and family via his computer.
"Every time one of these big tournaments, like the World Cup or European Championships, is on, I seem to be out of the country," Hazell said yesterday.
"I've been travelling around for a bit now and, for example, back in 1990 I was living in Amsterdam and ever since then, the only time I've been back in Colchester was for the 1998 tournament. So every time another one comes around I start to get really homesick, especially this time, because everyone I talk to says it's going nuts over there.
"I mean, I've lived here long enough to know that this is a rugby country and that there's not exactly going to be feverish excitement about a World Cup. With this web cam idea, I can at least feel a part of it and look up at the computer screen and see how people are reacting back home.
"Or swear at the screen, which was the case this morning."
Because, after all the talk of England being a genuine title threat, it took an own goal from Paraguyuan captain Carlos Gamarra to separate the two teams.
"I thought the first half was alright, but the second half was crap, basically," was Hazell's appraisal of his countrymen's performance yesterday.
"They just lost their shape a bit and when you compare the first 20 minutes with the second half, they looked like two different teams. I was pretty confident about their chances, but not now.
"They shouldn't have any problems getting out of their group and the draw between Sweden and Trinidad & Tobago helps, but they've got to start putting together better performances than that and the coach needs to work out where he's going to play Steven Gerrard. He did his job and he put blocks in and he tackled, but I'd like to see him used a bit differently.
"Like when Michael Owen came off, to me, that was the ideal opportunity to push Gerrard up with Peter Crouch, but instead he brought Stewart Downing on down the left and he did nothing really.
"Obviously I've got my opinions about what they should be doing, so if they're paying (Sven-Goran) Eriksson a few million quid a year, or whatever it is, then he should have some idea.
"I still think they can win it but they'll need to play a bit better than they did this morning."
But, chances are, they really aren't going to do it, meaning English fans and media alike can get stuck into their real national pastime of tearing national teams to shreds.
So what's Hazell's take on that?
"I think they'll get absolutely slated unless they get to the final," he said.
"Everyone expects them to at least get that far. If they made the semifinals and played well on the way, I think that people would see that as a pretty good performance and the reaction would be fairly positive.
"If they made the top-four and hadn't played well to get there, I think people will be asking questions."