Some days I feel like I just get nothing done.

I start out with the best of intentions, sometimes even a list.

Then I get out of bed.

The list generally says something boring like "hang out the washing" and there's every chance I will get as far as the clothesline with the washing basket. I may even get a towel or two hung out before being distracted by the cat playing with a clothes peg.


Read more: Rachel Wise: It was one of those days ...
Opinion: Why the fanfare and fuss over the royal wedding?

That will bring my attention to the fact there are clothes pegs all over the lawn, the result of a game of "let's throw pegs at each other till someone gets one in their eye" played in the weekend by two small grandboys.

Picking the clothes pegs up brings me to the edge of the vege garden. Would you look at the size of that weed? And this one over here, and here's another one and those lettuces are well past their best so might as well throw them to the sheep, since they've seen me and come rushing up expectantly.

What's that trailing behind Mindy the ewe? A long piece of blackberry stuck in her wool, I must write "spray blackberry" on my list. First I'll have to get Mindy in the yard to detangle her from her blackberry accessory.

That will be more easily done if I fix the yard railing that the pony knocked down when he was using it to scratch an itch. I'll go and get a hammer.

The hammer is hanging above the workbench in the shed. Whoops, can't get near the workbench for the wet horse-covers I draped all over the shed to dry.

They would be better off out in the fresh air seeing as it's such a nice day. I'll fling them on the fence next to the trough. I wonder how the new goldfish are going ... hard to see them the trough has got so murky. I'll just get a bucket and scoop some of the grubby water out so I can see my fish.

Darned wind last night has blown my buckets clean across the paddock. One's even down in the drain. Darn it the plank I use to cross the drain has been washed downstream after all that rain, I'd better go drag it back again, what a pain.

Ooh look over the fence in the horse paddock ... I thought it was getting too late for mushrooms, there's a bonus.


I don't have a container ... there might be something in the pump-shed I can collect them in, I'll just go and look. While I'm here I'll shift the electric fence, save me coming back later to do it.

I'll shift it over here, that should give the horses enough fresh grass for a couple of ...

Oy! Where do you dogs think you're going? No come back here, we're not going for a walk down the river ... no we're not ... come back ... oh, okay but five minutes that's all.

Twenty minutes later ...

What are you rolling in? No. No way. Yuck, gross. Trust you to find a dead hedgehog. Home for a bath.

Seeing as I'm bathing one dog I might as well bath all the dogs. And while I'm cleaning up the resulting splashy wet mess I may as well ​clean the rest of the bathroom.

Yay, there's the earring I lost, on the bathroom floor. I'll put that in my jewellery box right this minute before I forget and lose it again. Do I really need all these earrings? It's no wonder I can never find two that match, they are all mixed up. If I sort them out I can work out which still have their mates and chuck the rest.

Aww, I remember when I bought these ones. They match the dress I wore to that wedding. I wonder if I still have that dress. It might still fit, and it would go so nicely with the boots I bought last week.

It should be in the wardrobe. In here, behind ... why on earth do I keep that jacket? It's a horrible colour. And this one. If I got rid of them it would free up a couple of coat hangers. Actually I could get rid of quite a bit. I'll need some plastic bags.

No, get out of the plastic bag drawer. I didn't open it for you, cats don't belong in the plastic bag drawer. Get out. Oh, you are so cute. Are you hungry? Would you like a treat? There's chicken in the fridge.

Mmm chicken, come to think of it I'm hungry too, it must be nearly lunchtime. Wow it's well past lunchtime. I'll make a sandwich.

And here's my list on the bench, I've been so busy I must be able to cross loads of things off.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I have done exactly zero things.

I take my pen.
I write on my list.
I write "have lunch".
Then I cross it off.