Opinion: One (Ken) Ring to rule them all

When I checked the online news last Sunday, a question popped out at me: Did you take part in Earth Hour?
New Zealand was one of the first of 134 countries - a record number - expected to take part, with individuals and organisations switching off the lights from 8.30pm to 9.30pm local time to raise awareness about climate change and sustainability. But I missed it. I simply forgot.
In my defence, I would like to say that there was too little advance publicity. The online poll I checked on the Sunday morning suggested others may have felt the same (36 per cent said they forgot about it, whereas only 15 per cent actually turned the lights off). And a staggering 43 per cent said they didn't turn their lights off because they didn't "see the point of it".
Well, Mr and Mrs 43 Per Cent, the point of it is to make a symbolic stand for the planet. Our home.
I find an enormous satisfaction in those times when people come together for a common cause. regardless of which rugby team, church or current fad diet they support. It was a very moving and powerful two minutes, for example, when the whole country stood still for two minutes after the Christchurch earthquake. Except, of course, for those who didn't. Perhaps they couldn't see the point of it.
Last year we did participate in Earth Hour but, from memory, the pre-publicity was better. Which leads me to the point of this week's column: I firmly believe the event needs a more pro-active publicity machine for next year and I think I have the answer. It's Ken Ring.
Next year, a week or so before Earth Hour, Ken Ring (and there is absolutely no truth in the rumour that the letters of Ken Ring can be rearranged to form Ken Grin) should make one of his predictions: "I predict that there will be a lot of darkness between the hours of 8.30 and 9.30pm tomorrow night. Even non-believers should carry a torch".
You just watch the result. People from Lyttelton will buy candles and take refuge in Geraldine and Twizel. Non-believers will buy torch batteries. And the national grid will take a well-earned rest.
Such is the power of prediction or Ring power, if you'd rather. After all, for years, intelligent humans have been drawn into the tents of fairground psychics, though it has to be said that a lot of psychics are giving up because there's no future in it, often because of unforeseen circumstances. (They may be oldies but they're still goodies,)
People also keep writing to Ask the Psychics in the newspaper, even though the psychics keep telling them that their lost locket, watch or treasured keepsake is down the back of the couch.
Q: Can you please help me to locate my car. I can't remember where I have parked it.
A: I'm getting strong vibes that it could be down the back of the couch.
This faith in fortune telling has managed to flourish, even though non-believers have made psychics the butt of many a joke. American wit Steven Wright claims that even he almost had a psychic girlfriend "but she left me before we met".
Then there was the joke about the midget fortune-teller who escaped from jail.
The headline read, "Small medium at large."
From the situations vacant section of a newspaper: Telepath needed. You know where to apply.
But despite all this, Ring still has strong pulling power (could he be lord of the Rings?), which is why I believe we should use him for next year's Earth Hour publicity.
Ring ring ring.
Me: Hello.
Voice: Ken Ring here. I have a prediction for you.
Me: Yes, hit me with it.
Voice: This newspaper column is about to end.
OMG, there's a frightening thing: he's absolutely right.
Wyn Drabble is a teacher of English, a writer, public speaker and musician.