Oh hi school holidays!
There you are again. Always sneaking up on us like we are some unsuspecting prey, lying low in the grass, enjoying the day to day monotony of nibbling on a plant or two, kids off to be cared for by some hero of education while we enjoy those few blissful hours, until WHAM!
Out of nowhere comes the predator, yeah sure, we always knew this would be a possibility, but like usual it was in the back of our mind. Like a distant memory of a bad day gone by, until it's right there, fiery eyes glinting in the spring air.
We leap from our comfortable lives like a gazelle through the tundra, both frightened but not entirely surprised at this brutal inconvenience.
Glancing left, then right, who might be here to save us? Is there another member of the group we could throw to the lions?
Someone to ease the burden of this shocking turn of events. An elderly member perhaps, no longer working the day to day grunt work but still capable and able of providing some assistance in some way?
No. We are in this alone. Or are we? A neighbouring herd hears our calls, and, knowing full well they were caught out in the same situation not a few months before! Send the youth that way, we yell! Save yourselves! We took THEIRS last time!
And so we send them off, leaping and bounding toward the other, less disorganised herd.
Why couldn't we have been ready as they are, we think. You can see from afar that they have activities. Snacks.
And when the kerfuffle has died down, and the young return in our direction they look at us with slight disdain.
"Why, when you knew this would happen were you unprepared again Dad?" their small, Bambi like eyes plead.
And that question, young ones, is one that parents have asked themselves for generations.
Oh yes, we know full well that once every few months this will arise again. We will run from the tundra, glancing in all directions for the help we have neglected to organise in the times of calm.
We will throw you to the nearest herd in the hope that somehow, they will be the safety net and we will emerge again unscathed!
And it's always a bit of a gamble, but then again, we've all made it this far safe and sound. And there's a few months of calm before we do it again!
• Don't miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am, Monday to Friday