Te Wiki Hauora Tane 2019. Men's Health Week.
Every time it rolls around, I get hot flushes, panic, have to take deep breaths, not because there's anything wrong with me, but because I remember I've let another year slip by without any major health checkups to make SURE there's nothing wrong.
Because I'm creeping toward that part of my life. You know the part, the part when people around you start to have serious conversations about blood pressure medication brands.
Omexaproxyateachillydog? What is that? You stare, lost amongst the big words, glancing at an arm vein you never noticed before.
The conversation continues "Oh yeah, it took my phanpexamajig levels down almost immediately and my healthy salamislice-oxillin numbers were really quickly back in the norm."
"Do I need to work on those levels?" You think to yourself.
And as the conversation starts to spin towards something less medication orientated, you're left in a state of confusion.
So, you do what anyone does in this day and age and ask Alexa when you get home.
"Alexa, do I need to work on my salamisliceoxillin levels at 38," you ask as you walk in the door.
Alexa quickly replies "here are the Google search results for 'do I seed twerk oh my salami,". Alexa, turn off.
Okay, so I'll Google. And after clicking on about three of the front-page links you realise that the time for a doctor checkup was probably 2011 and you are way overdue.
So you close Google and head to the fridge. Looking at the half-consumed packet of bacon that little voice on your shoulder says "What to eat to stay healthy dot com said that bacon should be a once a month treat if eaten at all," and consider throwing it out.
Then the other little voice says "but it's soooooo delicious. And you ALREADY bought that pack."
And as you put it in a pan and vow to avoid that section of the supermarket, next time.
A quick glance over the men's health week checklist asks you to answer the health questions honestly.
Is honesty a scale? Do they want HONEST honest, or just regular honest. Have you been for a general men's health check-up when you're not sick? Well, if I'm honest honest, no.
But this is my year, and this is my time. Except after all this stress, my blood pressure will be way up, so...maybe next year?
(In all seriousness though guys, let's make sure we are taking care of ourselves both physically and mentally this Men's Health Week!)
Don't miss Adam Green and Megan Banks on The Hits Hawke's Bay from 6am to 9am Monday to Friday.