It's 2017. You're in the car, listening to the radio. The opening notes of My Heart Will Go On start to play. You:
(a) Scramble to change the station, turn down the volume or throw yourself out of the vehicle, because you would rather be a passenger on a doomed cruise ship than hear that gentle flute again;
(b) Crank up the volume and grab a fake microphone, because it's your time to shine: "Near ... far ... whereEVER you are ... I believe that the heart does go on ..."
Even though some people (ahem) will happily admit to the second choice, it's understandable that others can't bear to hear the Celine Dion hit even one more time. The ubiquitous power ballad, better known as the Titanic theme song, has become a pop culture punchline since the record-shattering film's release 20 years ago. With all the mockery (even Kate Winslet has said hearing it makes her feel like throwing up), it's easy to overlook the track's unbelievably massive success.
First, the numbers: The single sold 1.7 million copies on its own and propelled Dion's Let's Talk About Love and the Titanic: Music From the Motion Picture soundtrack to each sell tens of millions of albums worldwide. The ballad, written by Will Jennings and James Horner, also won record of the year and song of the year at the 1999 Grammy Awards, and best original song at the Oscars.
Plus, it played on the radio. Constantly.
"It was one of those records that just wouldn't die," said John Ivey of iHeartMedia. When the song came out in 1997, Ivey was programme director at a Top 40 station in Boston. He recalls the phone lines blowing up with moviegoers requesting the song.
"I think it was a combination of the perfect artist in Celine — who sings it so powerfully, and her popularity was at a great peak anyway — and then the movie being on fire," he said. "I don't know we've seen much like it since."
According to Billboard magazine's oral history of My Heart Will Go On, the studio hoped to incorporate a hit song into the film for marketing purposes. Except Titanic director James Cameron was reluctant to have a ballad roll over the end credits. Dion also wasn't thrilled about recording yet another movie song.
But after it was released, everyone was taken aback at the impact. Titanic costar Billy Zane told Billboard about the weepy scene when the song played at the movie's premiere.
"The most stoic and stalwart pillars of the industry ... they were beside themselves," Zane said. "When she hits the high note in 'Near, far, wherever you are' — bam! The floodgates open."
News publications marvelled at the song's sales, even as they also mocked its cheesiness. The Washington Post called it a tune that "starts off with Enya-like tenderness and Celtic melancholy before colliding with the iceberg of overproduction".
Over the years, as with anything extremely popular, there was plenty of backlash, particularly as it became overplayed. The Atlantic noted it was voted the most irritating song in history by the BBC.
Still, that didn't stop Dion from bringing the house down with her recent 20th anniversary performance at the Billboard Music Awards in May. And it continues to be the rare hit that will be forever associated with a film that matches it in popularity.