1. "When my now ex-wife and I first started dating, I had made a roast for dinner in my slow cooker. After dinner, she was helping me clean up. I came into the kitchen, and she had the entire crockpot submerged in the sink. I asked what she was doing, and she said she was cleaning it. (She didn't know that the ceramic inside could be removed to clean). After I explained that to her, she said, 'I guess I shouldn't have put the whole thing under water!' I said, 'no!' and reached over and unplugged it! I have no idea how she didn't get electrocuted."
2. "I had an ex who didn't realise that vacuum cleaners had to be emptied. He genuinely thought the vacuum was broken because it was full of fluff and didn't suck any more. The worst thing was, I believed him that it was broken because it didn't occur to me that someone could think vacuum cleaners magically made dust disappear."
3. "[My partner] tried to make baked potatoes in the microwave for the first time. Wrapped them in tinfoil. Came to ask me why there were lightning bolts in the microwave and why it was getting very hot."
How about Visa Platinum?
Mum's words The best mum one-liners you heard growing up in the 70s and 80s ...
1. What did your last slave die of?
2. Close the door — you weren't born in a tent.
3. Don't make that face, if the wind changes it'll stay that way.
4. There's no such word as can't.
5. If you don't stop crying, I will give you something to cry about.
6. Stop picking your nose, your head will cave in.
7. You make a better door than a window.
8. Don't sit so close to the TV, you'll get square eyes.
(Via NZ Old Skool Facebook)
A reader writes: "Interesting that Auckland Council fix only the flower beds that appeared in the Sideswipe photo. All the other beds around the Takapuna Library are equally parched."
Shoplifters - a short film…
Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at firstname.lastname@example.org