Kids too clever by half

What's the most "On Brand" story you have from your childhood?

1. When my mum told me not to touch the electric stove when it was red, because that meant it was hot, so I made direct eye contact with her and slapped my hand down on the stove top. I had regrets but listen, you don't tell me what to do.

2. Around the time of the 2002 New Zealand election, my class all made up political parties and campaigned, I made a joke anti-Green Party called Concrete the Country and gained enough support to win, then the teacher cancelled the election. (ie I took a joke too far and ruined a good thing).

3. I got given the strap for correcting the deputy headmaster about what was the biggest river in New Zealand in front of the whole school. He said it was the Waikato, which is the longest. I pointed out the Clutha, while shorter, carries more water, and is thus "bigger" and that if he wanted to quibble, he should have defined his terms better. I was 9. I came second-equal in the quiz, and I was furious.

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4. At age 6 I lost sight of my parents for 15 seconds at an airport and in those 15 seconds immediately started thinking about how I, a now homeless person in a foreign country, could reintegrate into normal society as quickly as possible.

5. I came crying to my mum as a child, just hysterical. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her I swore. I sat in my room, by myself, and swore to hear what it sounded like. I immediately panicked and told on myself.

6. Played with matches, set my PJs on fire, stopped, dropped, rolled, cut out the burned fabric and hand sewed a seam to repair them so no one ever found out.

7. I was about 8. My mum had a friend over that was chain smoking. I went and made a mock up gas mask and casually sat back down in the living room and resumed watching TV. My mum looked over and was mortified. Her friend didn't find it funny either. It was hilarious to me.

(Via @prinxeMu on Twitter)

Unusual gimmick

This 1997 wine from France featured an unusual marketing gimmick. It was sold in a red bottle, with a red label, and a red cork. It was called
This 1997 wine from France featured an unusual marketing gimmick. It was sold in a red bottle, with a red label, and a red cork. It was called "Red". But it was a white Chardonnay.

Hot as hell in Britain

The heatwave in the UK and Ireland has brought soaring temperatures - and the new weather phenomenon has created a new term, unfamiliar to many in these parts. According to Oxford Dictionaries, residents in Powys, Wales were surprised to spot a small whirlwind of detritus and debris that forms when an up-draught of warm air nears the surface and begins to rotate. They promptly began referring to them as dust devils.