Just reading job ad was exhausting
A Te Anau based tourism operator has posted a job ad on Trade Me looking to fill at least three jobs with just one person. PureSalt are looking for a PR & Marketing Manager/Guide/ Crew/Cook. The lucky person who gets this job will be writing for all the company's communication channels, plus nurturing relationships with the media and "implementing marketing & communications strategies". Other responsibilities include: "Managing guest bookings. Maintaining timely communication between our management team, booking agents, flight operators, and our guests. Assisting in transporting guests and gear from our base in Te Anau to Milford Sound, Doubtful Sound and various other locations." Phew! Ok. But wait there's more, you must also be "a nature guide, housekeeper, chef, watch-keeper, and multi-tasking hospitality machine. Daily duties include cleaning, housekeeping, and maintenance of cabins, galley, store rooms, and deck." Oh and you'll need to be a good cook who can provide "inspired and delicious meals for our guests with a focus on local seafood. Adaptability when cooking for various dietaries and food allergies". You will also be required to instruct diving, kayaking, paddle boarding, fishing, and bush walks and be responsible for "passenger and crew safety", have a current first aid certificate and current passenger endorsement on your driver's licence. It would be handy if you are also, "a dive instructor/master or a keen Scuba or Free diver, tourism guide, with engineering or mechanical skills and marine qualified". And last but not least you must be "passionate about life and everything in it and keen to have fun".
How can you get mad after this
"Returning from Dubai on an 18 hour flight I was fortunate to secure an emergency exit row seat but less fortunate to be situated next to a couple of babies in the bulkhead area," writes Paul from Devonport. "But don't despair! On my seat was a note and some Suchard chocolates from the parents of a lovely French couple returning to their college studies in NZ and keen not to antagonise their neighbours. What foresight!"
Just the book for tweens - not
The definition pre-teen varies but it usually refers to young people aged 9-12 years old ... which is why this book is odd. According to Mary at Awful Library Books, this book includes a chapter on potty training, suggests telling tweens that their mothers have eggs in their "tummies," and that sex is a "special grown-up cuddle". These things might even be forgiven if it weren't for the heading on Chapter 40: Wicked Stepparents.
Instagram parody genius
Celeste Barbar - the Australian comedian known for amusingly recreating celebrity Instagram pictures has some fresh material...
Video pick
What a swimming corgi looks like from underneath...
Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz