Does your house earn more than you do? For almost every Aucklander the answer is yes. So, asks Don Rowe, of The Spinoff, what sort of job would you need to do if you wanted to earn as much as the home you live in?
With the new property valuation figures released on Monday by Auckland Council, we now know the average rateable value over the entire city has finally cracked the million-dollar mark.
Virtually every suburb has seen an explosion in price over the past three years. Hooray!
For the hard grafters who somehow own the place they sleep in, now you know how much mahi your home is putting in while you're out there in the coal mine.
And for the rest of us, it's finally possible to figure out how much your landlord stands to gain while you pay off their mortgage, and whether you should stop feeling bad about asking for some new curtains, or maybe something that prevents mold.
But what does that increase look like compared to actual work? What would you need to do for a crust if you wanted to earn as much as your house does just by sitting there?
Come fly with me across the city as we take a look with the help of this handy NZ Herald infographic.
Māngere is painted ocean blue for 'large change in value'. A typical house in Ascot Ave, Māngere, increased in value by around $78,000 per year, earning slightly more than your average accountant ($75,000). (All our salary figures are median levels from the government's Careers NZ service.)
Across the bridge in Onehunga, things are really heating up. On Church Street, the annual rise has cracked six figures, pulling in around $115,000 a year and leaving architects, civil engineers and surveyors in the dirt ($85,000, $85,000, $95,000). Tough luck if you happen to be anywhere near the median national wage of $48,800, or anything less than university educated - your serfdom is ensured.
Over in the blue collar, working class suburb of Parnell, homes on beautiful Tohunga Crescent have been earning around $350,000 a year, or as much as seven qualified builders ($53,000). Get swinging that hammer!
House price rises on Sandringham Road are about as delicious as the local cuisine, stacking cheddar to the tune of about $185,000 - that's significantly more than your typical construction project manager, and the equivalent of about five-and-a-half baristas or six kitchen staff.
My own home over the tracks in Morningside is sitting pretty with an income of just over $185,000 per year, or about four-and-a-half entry-level media hacks ($40,000), which is half a person more than can legally live there.
What all this would seem to suggest is that no matter what you do in Auckland, you're probably doing less than your house, which doesn't actually do anything.
Food for thought eh?