Paul and May Wheeler had a problem – the retired couple wanted their independence but, with Paul having heart trouble, also wanted safety and security.
"I hated the thought of being left in our house on my own," says May. "I felt we needed to get settled into apartment living, so we had company around us."
She had good reason to think that way. Paul had suffered a heart attack when they were still living in their house with a big section in Avonhead, Christchurch. That sharpened their interest in finding somewhere to live which combined independence with companionship – and comfort in the knowledge that medical help was available at the touch of a button.
Bupa Parkstone turned out to be the answer, with the retirement village's emphasis on security extending to the pendants provided by an alarm systems company – bringing help fast if the wearer pushes the button in the pendant.
They moved in six years ago but hadn't used the pendant until Paul ended up in hospital for two days recently, following complications caused by a bout of Covid-19. While they waited for the hospital transfer, the company rang May every few minutes to check up on both of them.
It was another instance where the Wheelers looked back on their decision to move into Bupa Parkstone with some satisfaction: "It was a big decision," says Paul, now a healthily restored 86-year-old. "It was one of those big ones in life that you look back on. For this one, I can say, 'well, that's right at the top'."
May, now 84, says their move to the retirement village gave them peace of mind in another way – their daughter Kerry.
"We didn't want to be a burden to family," she says – a sentence often heard when people move to a place like Bupa Parkstone. "Our daughter is marvellous – she cares so much and she was worrying about us; we didn't want to impose on her."
"But now we've moved here," says Paul, "she is happy. She knows we have people around us and help on hand if we need it at all times. She goes away quite a bit with the family and now she can do it without worrying about us."
The Wheelers made their decision quickly. Paul had been put off by a "pushy" agent from a rival village but they jumped at the two-bedroom apartment at Parkstone.
"When we first got there, Kerry said she didn't think we'd like it because she thought May would miss her garden and I would miss my workshop. Then, as we were heading out, I could hear my wife and daughter behind me already planning and deciding where we might put some of our things."
Not only have Paul and May found new friends at Parkstone, they have, as Paul puts it, "come out of our shells". May, in particular was shy, he says, but since moving to Parkstone has developed new-found confidence.
"I think it's just living here and being with people all the time, May says. "It makes a big difference and, yes, I do have a lot more confidence now.
"If you're feeling down in the dumps, all you have to do is go for a walk in the corridors and you'll bump into someone you know and you'll have a good natter – it just makes you feel better."
Both are avid choir singers and Paul has now graduated to being choirmaster, leading the choir of 22 people. "It keeps him very busy, I love it," says May.
"May's the wardrobe assistant," jokes Paul. "You feel a lot better when you've had a good sing," says May.