Hits radio host, celebrant and MC Will Johnston muses on his indulgent life in the Bay of Plenty

So, the Prime Minister is going to birth a tiny human while in office (well, not literally) ... Bout time! I'm mildly disappointed that we are STILL in a society where this is such big news. But we are, so this is a forward-moving, positive push ahead for NZ nationally and on a global stage. The fat old white draconian bigoted middle American men that voted that orange-faced toddler-wit in might even recognise New Zealand now. We are going to have an unmarried female PM giving birth during her term in office, taking six weeks off then just casually going back to running the country again. Hear, hear! Legend of a woman for literally leading the way in living the fullest life she could possibly live!

My sister had her second child last year ... She took five weeks off work and then went back. Her partner took parental leave. It's a great set up they have! Stay-at-home dad is where it's at.

This is the first Indulge column for four weeks. Since then I did a thing or two. Actually, a thing or 10. By 10 I mean that's how many people I've joined in matrimony in the last four weeks. But my sister, who's up from Wellington staying for the month, did one better than me and got engaged! In Pilot Bay out the Mount. Not near it, in it!

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Her now fiancée is originally from Brazil, and had actually asked me a little advice on what the tradition here is when proposing.

I gave him advice that flies a little in the face of being a celebrant, I told him basically the tradition is kind of lame and that he should do what he likes and what suits them both.

'Cos let's be honest, buying the most financially crippling ring you can find and then ruining the surprise by discussing the exact time and date you're going to propose WITH the person you're going to propose to seems a bit unromantic if you ask me.

He knew that my sis had a beautiful stone that Nan left her when she passed away and that she'd want that to be made in to a ring and thought designing that together would be a cool thing to do for both of them.

So, he decided that he'd get her a simple plain gold band. But he also got one for himself because he wanted their rings to be identical and for them both to have one.

Awesome huh? They have decided to wear it on their right hand and then swap it to the left on the day they get married. That's tradition in Brazil. Go Brazil, I say!

So in Pilot Bay they stood, still water, warm temps, Mount resplendent in the background, stingrays cruising past, bronze whaler sharks lurking in the shadows. No wait, this is going bad. Forget that last (albeit accurate) one.

Cos let's be honest, buying the most financially crippling ring you can find and then ruining the surprise by discussing the exact time and date you're going to propose WITH the person you're going to propose to seems a bit unromantic if you ask me.

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They were really just happy to be away from their home in Wellington and not being sandblasted on a beach for once.

He gave the two rings to their 21-month-old son to give to my sister. Said toddler thought he was being given two perfect little objects to violently throw in to the ocean ... Oooops. Crisis averted, the rings were grabbed back off bub and he hurriedly turned to my sister — who romantically had their other son (4 months) dribbling down her swimsuit — and asked if she wanted to marry him ...

The thing that describes their relationship, awesome personalities and situation the best is that the thing my sis was most disappointed about was that she didn't even hesitate with the 'yes'. That night she was rueing her missed opportunity to make him sweat a little.

Katie and Diogo Freire got engaged at the weekend at Pilot Bay, they are pictured with their children Nico 21 mths and Luca 4 mths. Photo/Andrew Warner.
Katie and Diogo Freire got engaged at the weekend at Pilot Bay, they are pictured with their children Nico 21 mths and Luca 4 mths. Photo/Andrew Warner.

That's what the sleep deprivation that two kids under 2 does to you I guess?! It makes you miss the opportunities you long for in a long term, 'locked in' relationship to mess with the other person for enjoyment!

Once I'd received the call that the deed had been done, while I was literally officiating at a wedding at Fountain Gardens in Whakamarama no less, I headed home as soon as I could, champers in hand, to celebrate. I got there, had a glass with them, had a yarn about some fun options for their wedding in the future. And then they had to go to bed, because 10.30pm is past their parental minimum sleep limits. I've suggested a mid-morning wedding so it can be wrapped up in time for a 9pm bedtime! And maybe even a mid-afternoon group nap? Who wouldn't want that at their wedding? Even the Prime Minister would be taking that nap option in about six months time I reckon ...

Will Johnston is the local 9am-3pm host for The Hits Bay of Plenty 95FM. He's also a celebrant and MC.