A short woman knocked on my door this morning and said, "May I come in?"
I didn't get where I am today - head of TV3, owner of the Terra Sancta winery, John Key's mate - by putting up with manners like that.
I don't have the time. I'm a busy and very important man.
I said, "Can't you see I'm watching The Block NZ: Villa Wars?"
When I took on this job, I knew I had to turn TV3 around. It was losing its way. It had got stale.
"Season four of The Block may be the best yet," I told her. "People say it's like watching paint dry but on last night's show you could watch concrete dry.
"I'm thinking that might be a series in itself. Dry Hard. What do you think?"
She said, "I was just seeing if you've had a chance to read our proposal to save current affairs show 3D from being canned."
I said, "What's it to you? Who are you, anyway?"
She said, "Paula Penfold. I'm one of the presenters. I did the story on Teina Pora?"
I said, "I see. Well, Ms Pora, let me assure you that TV3 is committed to serious journalism. But the model doesn't quite work.
"It needs to work within a budget, and we can achieve that by getting rid of an unnecessary expense - which I've identified, you'll be pleased to know."
She said, "What's that?"
I said, "Journalists."
Jonah Lomu is farewelled at Eden Park. It's a moving ceremony - but you'd think they could have come up with a better MC than John Campbell.
I saw through that guy on my first day on the job.
He stood for all the wrong things. It was hard to pinpoint exactly what kinds of things but it was obvious that he stood for something, and I couldn't allow that.
I gave him the same speech about taking journalists out of journalism that I gave yesterday to Pora Penfold. I put it on speakerphone.
When he left, JK said, "Good on ya, mate."
I was cleaning out my inbox this morning when I came across an email with the subject line "3D PROPOSAL". It was sent about a fortnight ago by that short woman.
Seeing as I've already canned the show, I pressed delete without opening it.
They got thrown out yesterday. But I presented them with a nice pinot at discount from my winery, so I'm sure they left with a skip in their step.
I spent the afternoon in meetings with the production team from Dry Hard.
The sponsorship opportunities have a lot of potential, but it's early days and nothing is set in concrete.
THURSDAYHeather du Plessis-Allan burst into my office this afternoon, sat down, and began shouting that police raided her home because of her TV3 story about illegally purchasing a gun to expose a loophole in firearms licensing laws.
I walked to the window and looked out, deep in thought.
I wonder who'll win the live auction at The Block on Sunday night?
JK came over to the house after work for a drink.
He said, "You've really turned TV3 around this year."
"Cheers, mate," I said.
"It's like it's a different network altogether."
"Nothing like it used to be."
"Cheers, but I notice you haven't touched your glass. It's a pinot from my winery. Don't you like it?"
He said, "It's just - it's just that it doesn't seem to have any substance."