A croc-infested, fly-blown, stinking hot land mass with a ejection button fixed to its Prime Minister's seat is luckier than Godzone, according to the Brits.
Hours away from the most hotly contested rugby game in four years - the Rugby World Cup final between the All Blacks and old foes Australia - a British newspaper has made its own call on which country is better.
Quite outrageously, the Telegraph has declared Australia is indeed the luckier country.
Across nine categories, the newspaper picked Australia as the winner in six - attractions, culture (cough, cough), silver screen, cuisine, transport and nightlife. Although we have Hobbiton and oodles of natural beauty, the Sydney Opera House, Uluru and the Great Barrier Reef were considered more dramatic, and the arts and music scene in the powerhouse cities of Sydney and Melbourne also propelled Australia ahead in the culture category.
Tales of Outback adventure, such as Priscilla: Queen of the Desert and Crocodile Dundee, and a slew of shirtless eye-candy from soap stalwarts Neighbours and the teen-centric Home and Away were also favoured over New Zealand's big-screen contributions of, oh a little movie known as Lord of the Rings, and its prequel The Hobbit. Special praise was reserved though for 2006 black comedy horror Black Sheep.
"[It] may not have found enormous success at the box office but it's still an enjoyable comedy horror about some crazed and bloody-thirsty New Zealand sheep."
Wine regions in both countries were considered "almost worth the airfare alone", but our bounty of fresh produce was let down by the more limited dining options in small-town New Zealand, and Australia's epic trans-coastal train journeys similarly gave them the edge in transport, the newspaper reported.
Surprisingly, for a country that loves to bemoan bad weather, the Brits judged New Zealand better for weather - summers were considered to be unbearably hot across the Tasman. New Zealand weather was "kinder to the British constitution". Sport/activities, primarily our national pasttime of "jumping off stuff" and the plethora of other adventures nabbed us a second win.
The writers couldn't make a call on landscape, ruling it a tie.
The newspaper did have the good grace to end its piece with a rider - their own readers know more than they do.
"Disagree? You might be in the majority," they wrote.
"Telegraph readers voted New Zealand their favourite country in the Telegraph Travel Awards last year."