What was your greatest holiday?

Kerala, India in December. I got to spend a very different kind of Christmas. Real chilled, nice beaches, great food and a big sense of freedom.

And the worst? I couldn't say the worst, but I had some pretty dodgy experiences on a week-long trip to Portugal in 2012. I went with my brother and we had a lot of fun but sometimes too much fun. After a few days we needed to get out of the city. We ended up at a hotel that had its glory days in the 70s, it was huge with practically no guests in it. Yes, we felt like we might be in The Shining and the reason we had booked the hotel was because of its amazing-looking pool - in the picture. In reality, the pool had been drained and was full of leaves.

If we bump into you on holiday, what are you most likely to be doing? Eating in some dirty, little local place.

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If we could teleport you to one place in New Zealand for a week-long holiday, where would it be? Milford Sound. I was there three years ago. It was amazing but raining, non-stop raining. I'd like to see it without rain.

What's the dumbest thing you've ever done when travelling? I got lost on a glacier in the Himalayas and almost got crushed by a boulder that rolled down the mountain.

Complete this sentence: I can't travel without ... My knife, I always travel with my knife. It's a chef's knife and I like to cook.

What was the most memorable meal you've had while travelling? Four of us had just been out to Skellig Michael - an island on the west coast of Ireland and a must-see. It's a world-heritage site and it's even in the new Star Wars film. We met a local man there with a boat who agreed to take us out. While we were on the island he spent the time fishing for mackerel off his boat, and on the way back in he had me helping gut the fish. For my trouble he gave me a few. We had no way of cooking the mackerel, so I called into the back door of a restaurant and the chef let me use their kitchen. Freshly caught lightly battered mackerel on bread.

What's the best thing you've brought back from a trip? A tan, it never lasts very long though, but that means I have to go find some more sun.

Favourite airport to land at? Cork Airport It's a small airport and you can't beat a small, chilled airport.

Cian Kinsella appears in Lords of Strut's show Chaos at Q Theatre on April 23 and April 27-30. comedyfestival.co.nz.