Nicky Park flies to New Caledonia on Aircalin SB411.
The plane: Airbus A320.
Class: Hibiscus (that's Aircalin for Business).
Price: Return $2183 including taxes.
My seat: Was upgraded at the last minute from row 14 to 1, best seat in the house. Not only was I living large up front, there wasn't anyone sitting next to me so I could spread my onboard bits and pieces between the two armchairs.
On time? Yes. It's a 3hr 5m flight.
Fellow passengers: Mostly friendly French speakers making a nearby island getaway seem more like an exotic adventure.
Entertainment: Was pretty tech-savvy with onboard Wifi available to use on the Aircalin app, which you should download before take-off. There were iPads available to borrow. The selection of entertainment was small but sufficient for the short flight.
The service: Classic French, first-class charm.
Food and drink: Was very flash on the Hibiscus menu. I began with a glass of Mas de Daumas Grassac - a delightful fruity white wine that sold itself as a "once in a lifetime experience". The three-course lunch menu was French-inspired; my only niggle was the way-overcooked lamb.
The toilets: Went unused on this short journey.
Luggage: Arrived very swiftly upon touch down due to the priority tag.
The airport experience: Was very efficient - the benefit of being first off the plane.
Would I fly this again? If I could afford it.