Former All Black Zac Guildford has taken a swipe at the New Zealand Rugby Union after missing out on a Super Rugby contract.
The 28-year-old Waikato player had a stand-out season for the Mooloos at fullback in this year's NPC, which he hoped would lead to another opportunity at the top level.
Guildford, who played 10 Tests for the All Blacks between 2009 and 2012, almost called time on his career after battles with alcohol and depression but believes he has turned a corner.
"Without blowing my own trumpet, I felt I was almost back to my best, and was feeling really good," he said.
"I feel like coaches and the NZRU are still looking at the old Zac Guildford but I've made a lot of changes and become a better person since I left the Waratahs 18 months ago.
"It's something that I'm disappointed about, but I should have thought about that when I was being a clown in the past.
"I thought time would be a bit of a healer, but obviously not," he said.
Guildford, currently recovering from a hamstring injury, is now targeting a comeback with the Waikato Sevens team in December.
However despite showing excellent form for Waikato during domestic tournaments last summer, he doesn't believe the national selectors will change their stance.
"I think that most doors are closed for me here in New Zealand from the higher powers at the NZRU.
"I'm just going to do my best here to contribute to Waikato through their sevens programme so that I can help the younger guys out," he said.
Guildford, who also played rugby in France with Clermont, also isn't ruling out another move overseas.
"That's something I'm looking into now that I've got myself right. I'm just keeping fit and healthy and maybe something will pop up in the UK."