By TERRY MADDAFORD
The world has become a lonely place for New Zealand Davis Cup player Simon Rea.
Vilified following his loss to Pakistani No 2 Aqeel Khan this week which doomed New Zealand to the tennis wilderness, Rea struggles to understand why his game fell so dramatically apart.
Speaking to the Herald from the United States before heading to Mexico, Rea said: "It [the five-set loss] is eating me away more than any other.
"It was the biggest disappointment of my career. I'm still feeling sick in the stomach. The flight from Dubai to New York was 14 hours - it felt like 44."
For a time, Rea admitted he was "torn" on where his career is headed following the defeat to a player ranked 479 places higher.
"At the time [non-playing captain] Bruce Derlin opted to play me in the second singles spot behind Mark Nielsen, I felt like I was the right person to play."
That decision sparked a bitter stand-off between William Ward and Derlin.
"There is no bigger team guy than me," Rea said. "It is still eating away at my insides.
"I played reasonably well on Friday and some pretty good tennis on Sunday. I had a 2-1 lead when we resumed on Monday morning, but for some reason, at the start of the fourth set, things went bad. I don't know why.
"I didn't have the spark. He [Khan] had an answer for anything I tried. I had 2-0 and 40-30 on his serve - a break point for 3-0," Rea said. "I missed a forehand which I thought was in. The umpire got down, had a close look and called it out.
"But that call did not cost me the match."
Rea slams any suggestion Derlin should walk.
"None of this is Bruce's fault. He wants it as much as the players. If Chris Lewis wants to attack anyone over the loss he should be having a go at me, not Bruce. I had break point and couldn't take it."
Rea said it was especially disppointing given the effort Nielsen had turned in to beat Pakistan No 1 Aisam Qureshi.
Nielsen, at 520, was ranked 316 places lower than his opponent but got up to win the longest match (5h 20m) in New Zealand's Davis Cup history in five gruelling sets.
"That match was probably the best I've ever seen. Mark gave me the chance to seal the deal and I couldn't do it.
"I haven't had the year I would have wanted," Rea, 22, admitted. "I hoped the Davis Cup would turn my year around. Sadly, it hasn't."
It will get no easier. Rea is in Mexico to play five or six Futures tournaments and there will be no easy pickings. He will return to Auckland in December to play the NZ Residentials and then the Heineken Open mini-qualifying tournament.
"The most important thing is to get my game back on track - mentally and physically. Come March, if I'm needed, I want to be ready to play Davis Cup again. I need to be stronger and better."
Ward, also seen as a villain in the cup debacle, is keen to go again.
"The Davis Cup means heaps to me," 18-year-old Ward said. "I feel the dispute between me and Bruce [Derlin] has been blown out of proportion.
"I get along with Bruce fine. Once it had been decided I would not be playing, I threw my support behind the others [Nielsen and Rea]. They both thanked me for my support.
"Sure, I was disappointed in not getting to play for New Zealand. I wanted to be more involved and do more than just feed balls to Simon Rea.
"I don't have a clue who made the decision on who would play doubles," said Ward. "I certainly did not have a preference for singles or doubles.
"In Sydney I beat Lee [Radovanovich] in the set we played and later I was beating Simon when we played the best of 11 points. I gave myself a bit of a show [of playing]."
Ward said that after the dust-up "the problem was gone".
He spoke to his coach, Chris Lewis, who advised him not to even think about returning from Islamabad before the tie had been played.
"I hope my name is still in the frame for March," said Ward, who will head to Thailand for three Futures.
He will be back for the Heineken Open.
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