Ken Pagan's drunken mistake while watching a baseball game is something that will haunt him forever.
This Canadian journalist lived a quiet, trouble-free life until the day he decided to hurl a can of beer at a baseball player on the field, during a game.
The video of Orioles outfielder Hyun Soo Kim getting hit by the can of beer while playing in the seventh inning of the 2016 AL wildcard game in Toronto quickly went viral.
Speaking to CBC, Pagan opened up about how he now has to live with the trauma of his drunken mistake.
Pagan says he can't watch a Blue Jays game without feeling guilt and says he experiences PTSD-type symptoms when he turns on the Jays' radio broadcast.
"When I hear that voice, I think of the disappointment I've brought to the organisation," he said.
"I was an idiot. I let a lot of people down. I'd rather not sit through nine innings of feeling like that."
He remembers the day of the game well. He nearly didn't make it to the game but managed to change shifts at work and bought a ticket late the night before.
He says the act of throwing the beer can onto the field was not so much a decision as it was an "impulse".
"There's no thought - you're in the outfield, there's a ball hit in your direction ... excitement," Pagan recalled.
"Honestly, if I was to break down the blow-by-blow, I'd be speculating myself. There's no thought process. It was an impulse.
"I equate it to if you've ever taken a bad penalty in hockey and realised, 'What did I just do? How did that happen?'"
What followed was what has been described as a social media witch hunt, with internet users trying to identify Pagan from the grainy TV image.
The Toronto Sun newspaper offered US$1000 to whoever helped identify him.
He turned himself in the next day and was charged with mischief.
The once award-winning journalist lost his job and ended up having to work as a delivery boy for Domino's pizza.
"My emotions got the best of me in an exciting moment and my reaction is a deeply regrettable mistake, something I've been torn about since the moment it happened," Pagan said in court.
"I am fully aware of the disgrace I brought to the game."
He was sentenced to one year probation, including 100 hours of community service and a temporary ban from all Major League Baseball stadiums.
Pagan says he will continue to rebuild his life in private and says he is not the "drunk beer tosser brought down by Twitter".