Worst commentary team in sport
It's a big call I know, because there may be an ice hockey commentary team in outer Uzbekistan I've never heard before, but Phil Kearns, Rod Kafer and Greg Martin are rubbish!
The trio do a good job of destroying rugby's reputation and contributing absolutely zilch to the sporting debate during their test match commentaries across the Ditch.
My old mate Michael Guerin was right when he raised the issue on radio, saying these guys are actually harming rugby in Australia.
Their cowboy, cheerleading, finger-pointing style has become embarrassing.
They accuse the All Blacks of lacking humility post the retirements of Richie McCaw and Dan Carter. Well, doesn't humility run both ways?
They fired up at Graham Henry following his interview with me when he said Australian rugby is in trouble. Surely all the proof you need of that is that only 97,000 people reportedly tuned in to watch the Wallabies take on Argentina recently.
Yes, I know it's the role of Marto and Kearnsy to keep their viewers interested, which can't be easy. But taking one comment from a 14-minute interview with Henry when he spoke about his genuine concerns for the world game is not only lazy but also another sign of outright bias from the Aussies.
Give the game up boys. Own the truth. The All Blacks are killing you right now, not because we get granted special meetings with the referees pre-match, not because we break the rules better than any other team in world rugby, and not because of our arrogance.
It's far simpler than that. We are just a far better rugby side right now.
No lack of humility here. I'm just a rugby fan looking at the history books. They tell the real story.
Solve Super Rugby and win
Anyone who has ever watched the game knows Super Rugby's format is wrong. It's utterly flawed, especially when a South African side can go through the regular season without playing a team from New Zealand.
The subject has occupied countless hours of talkback but no one has really convinced me they have an answer. It sometimes feels like solving the Middle East crisis would be easier than sorting out the mess that is Super Rugby.
A lot of the suggestions are more flawed than the competition itself, like the proposition to cull teams - two out of Australia and two out of South Africa. Great. Fewer teams, better rugby, more engaged fans. Eureka!
But who rings the broadcasters and breaks the news they've just lost 25 per cent of their broadcast matches, especially as everyone wants to keep the current rights deal on the table?
Good luck with that one.
Yes, we are dealing with the most flawed, most draining and most frustratingly-difficult competition known to man. It's easy to blame boss Andy Marinos and Sanzaar but it doesn't really solve the issues.
The New Zealand derbies were superb this season, and it was reflected in the TV ratings. In fact, any match involving a Kiwi side saw a slight growth because the rugby was the best it's ever been.
There have also been a couple of fabulous stories over the last couple of years, not least of all with the Hurricanes and Highlanders making history with their first titles in successive years.
Yes, we know there are too many average teams. Yes, it was foolish to allow a sixth team in South Africa. Yes, the Aussies are dreadful and their off-field barbs aren't much better.
But I challenge anyone to come up with a system which will actually work and still brings in the dollars. If you can do that, you should become the next US Secretary of State.
# Here's the challenge: find a workable solution to Super Rugby and win $500 of Wet and Forget product, perfect for this time of year. Simply send your proposal to my Facebook page, VeitchyonSport, by noon on Wednesday to be in with a chance of winning.