A maverick teenage footballer has been banned by league officials fed up with his constant rule-breaking - including wearing a cowboy hat on the pitch and making phone calls during a game.
Brian Garruto's persistent law-breaking on the football field finally proved too much for bosses of the North Side Co Ed Soccer League in Ohio.
In what is surely one of the best rap sheets of all time, Garruto has been booted out of the league for a list of utterly ridiculous reasons - which the bad boy himself shared on Twitter.
In a hilariously stuffy email, Garruto is cited for several bizarre breaches of the leagues rules.
They include making a phone call while playing a game, wearing a cowboy hat and celebrating a goal by pretending to give birth to the ball.
Other offenses include sitting on the opponent's bench, eating a banana while playing, firing 'invisible arrows' at players and sitting on the opposing team's bench.
In a single match he infuriated the powers that be by scoring 14 goals when players are - for some reason - only permitted to score a maximum of three a game.
In that same match he was sent off, and then tried to sneak back on again after swapping his shirt.
His final transgression was apparently on January 31, when Garruto wore 'a natural light tank top' as his football kit.
In a farewell tweet Garruto thanked fans of his team called the Cleveland Steamers.