Steve Deane pens a Kangaroo diary for recent Australian citizen James Tamou.
Saturday, April 14
"This is choice". That's the thought that was going through my head over and over again just after Neil Henry told me about my international call-up. Not a lot of people know this but us players are usually tipped off by our coaches when we get picked for rep matches. It's so we can get our bags packed and flights sorted and all that sort of stuff. So when Neil came up to me in the changing sheds in Darwin after we thrashed the Roosters and told me he'd received a call from my international coach, I was stoked. There was a bit of an awkward moment when I had to ask if it was Stephen Kearney or Tim Sheens who had called but after that it was sweet-as. Obviously the first thing I wanted to do was call all my family but I didn't have much credit on my phone and calls to New Zealand are expensive from mobiles, so I sent a group text instead.
Sunday, April 15
Time for a few goodbyes at Darwin airport. Most of the Cowboys fullas are heading back to Townsville but me and JT hop on a flight for Sydney to hook up with the Aussie lads. I'm a little bit nervous but JT says not to stress cause the indigenous fullas will look after me. They're well used to being a minority in their own land and you get used to it pretty quick, he reckons.
By quick he says he means after a few generations. I think he's joking but I haven't yet got the Aussie sense of humour completely down yet, so I just laugh and look out the window. There's a hell of a lot of dusty nothingness down there, which kind of reminds me of the main street of Levin.
Monday, April 16
I've got to front the media this morning and I'm not really looking forward to it. Cam Smith takes me aside and says the key is just to smile and talk about entirely unrelated subjects until people get bored and go away. That worked for him after the Storm salary cap scandal, he reckoned. Tu meke, Smithy. You Teflon, bro. He's such a legend that bloke. I always dreamed of playing against ... I mean with him. In the end the press conference wasn't too bad. A couple of the journos mentioned the Kiwis might be out to bash me to teach me a lesson. I laughed hard out. I mean, I played my junior footy for Levin. Those Kiwis will have nothing on some of the bad arses in the Horowhenua when it comes to filth. Shame on you journos. Stink-as line of questioning.
Tuesday, April 17
So far the boys have been wicked to me but there was a bit of an uncomfortable moment at breakfast. I got fined for my jandals. At first I thought there was a no open toe policy but it turned out I was fined for using the word jandals. Sheensy said I have to say "thongs" now that I'm an Aussie. I said I can't do that cause a thong is a type of undies that goes right up your bum. Then Gal piped up and said if I didn't like it I could piss off back to my room and watch re-runs of Phar Lap races and cry myself to sleep listening to Crowded House. I think he was joking but you can't tell with Gal sometimes.
Wednesday, April 18
Both teams met up at a fan day today. I rolled straight up to Frank Pritchard and said "cuzz, I hear you're gonna bash me, eh, like you did Karmichael"? Frank just laughed and said that was all media crap and that I should just chill. We had a big hug (pictured) and everything was sweet. That was a relief cause if Frank had staunched me out I was gonna ask him what it had to do with a Samoan who was born in Darlinghurst anyway? More trouble at dinner though. Gal was sounding off about how the pav at the hotel buffet was shit and Kiwis had no idea how to make the Aussie delicacy. This time it was obvious he was just trying to needle me. He'll keep. Utu will be sweet.
Thursday, April 19
Tomorrow is the big day. Starting to get a bit nervous. Got to try on the team kit for the first time and it didn't go so well. Not sure forest green and canary yellow are my colours, but I sent mum a picture by text and she said I looked lovely. Shot mum. You always know just what to say, except for when I told you I was playing for Australia and you couldn't speak for 10 minutes. Also found out some more choice news. My whole whanau are flying over from Wagga Wagga. Actually, they've rented a couple of mini vans and are driving up from Palmy, but I can't tell the boys that. Truth is I've never been to Wagga Wagga. It is on the list though. Just above Mudgeeraba and below Dandenong. That's the great thing about living overseas. So many places to see. Anyway, big match tomorrow.
Friday, April 20
Tonight's the big match and I'm jumping out of my skin. Actually, a couple of people have suggested I've already done that. Too funny bruz. There's been a bit of talk about how I'll go facing the haka but I'll be sweet. I'll face it like a man. That's my culture, eh? Remember a couple of years ago when Willie Mason was laughing and carrying on like a goose and David Kidwell knocked him on his arse? That was cool-as. Turns out the Aussies only sing their anthem in one language. Too easy. I reckon one day they'll need a te reo version.
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