Sideswipe

A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: October 24: What are they smoking?

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What are they smoking at the New Lynn Bowling Club?
What are they smoking at the New Lynn Bowling Club?

No such thing as a free park these days

Sharleen parked on Airedale St in Auckland CBD at 6.30pm on Tuesday night. "We've been parking there for well over a year, as it's free parking after 6," she explains. "But when we arrived back this time we had a ticket. The parking warden told us it's been like that for years (er, no it hasn't). So make sure you double check the machines at your regular parking spots or you could end up with the most expensive icecream date of your life, like we did!"

Just cheque-ing on you

"In 1979, I was told at the NZ Post Office that they did not accept cheques," writes Mary. "Consequently, I weighed my Xmas parcels, gathered them all up again, walked to the bank, withdrew cash, walked back to the Post Office, and stood in a long line only to see the teller accept a cheque from the woman in front of me.

"Me: I'd like to pay by cheque.

"Teller: We don't accept cheques.

"Me: You took that woman's cheque.

"Teller: That's because I know her.

"Me: Well, I'd like the convenience of writing cheques. Could you get to know me?

"Teller: (After looking me up and down) No, I don't ever want to know you.

"I found out later that NZ Post tellers had to personally guarantee any cheques that they accepted, consequently, they only accepted cheques from people they knew."

Bag lady's cleverness backfires in fashion disaster

American designer Kate Spade's new tote bag is being ridiculed for seeming to support Ugandan terrorist and warlord Joseph Kony. The $228 bag, which is intended to read "I Heart Kate Spade New York", could also be interpreted as "I Heart Kony". One woman tweeted a photo of the bag saying "Not sure Kate Spade thought this design through". (Source: The Daily Mail)

Washing line angst pegged

The hastily hung wash line in yesterday's Sideswipe brings up a debate about pegs for this Auckland family. "When I take in the washing I leave the pegs on the line," says the Dad. "This way I don't have to keep bending over to pick up the washing and a peg when hanging out next time. OK, the pegs may not be in the exact place you want them, but they are at least there. My wife insists that all the pegs be removed after the washing comes in, every time ... Whenever I visit friends I look to see which way they do it - pegs on or pegs off ..."

Opening lines for new bestseller - Fifty shades of brown

Great Literary Starts. A reader submits this as the opening line of a book he'd like to read ... "It was with mixed emotions that mild spring morning greeted me, as the joy of just being re-elected was tempered with the foreboding knowledge that public news was about to break of certain salacious misdemeanours ..."

Mental as Anything: A list of what affliction would've admittedyou to West Virginia's Hospital for the Insane back in the late-1800s. Covers pretty much everything...

Real Estate Blues: Really small two bedroom apartment on the 11th floor of The Altitude in Auckland's CBD for $400 per week. Watch how they try and spin it with captions contradicting the pictures...the bedroom suite , the lounge/dining room , the hallway , the kitchen and the view.

Picture this #1: Notorious baldies is a series of illustrations depicting the distinct bald heads of some of pop culture's most notorious icons...

Picture this #2: The pig couch... (An artwork by Pavia Burroughs)

Video: Nice moves on this 80s aerobic champs...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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