It could be a long wait at this drive-thru ... (thanks, Tari Pearson)
Your kid said what?
1) A teacher asked a 5-year-old in the classroom what her mother's first name was. "She did not know so I asked her what her Dad called her mother. She replied 'Fluffy bum'."
2) "When my 3-year-old niece put her shoes on all by herself for the first time, I looked at her feet and said, 'Well done you, but you have your shoes on the wrong feet'. She looked down and with a very puzzled expression said, 'but Aunty, these are the only feet I have'..."
3) "It was a lovely summer's afternoon. My 8-year-old son and his friend were running around playing a game on the deck. The friend planted himself in front of my son and yelled 'freeze!' My son looked a little confused, but decided to comply anyway. So he folded his arms, rattled his teeth and began shivering! Please note that we had no television so our children were deprived of cop shows."
4) Another teacher was having a discussion with her class about parent-teacher conferences and mentioned in passing that it would be an extra late night for her because she had to drive back to the North Shore.
"Suddenly a child in my class leaps up excitedly and says, 'oh wow, you're so lucky, you must be friends with Santa Claus'. She had obviously thought I had said North Pole, not North Shore!"
She's a bit of a card
Dennis writes: "My wife and I arrived at the local ATM in Manurewa. Card in, pin pushed, money out, card retrieved and off she trots back to the car, tucking her wad into her bag and not realising she was walking to the car in front of ours. Giggling, I watched her open the door and get into the car in front. She sat there for a number of seconds before she realised the man in the driver's seat was not me but a complete [and perplexed] stranger."
Forecast for warm showers
"I share my home in Freemans Bay with my furchild," writes David, "an almost fully trained 12-week-old chocolate spoodle puppy named Molly. Our home is a liveable yet dilapidated 1970s terraced house that has a rickety wooden deck coming off the upstairs master bedroom. Directly underneath this lies a small and equally unstable deck off the lounge. Last week my mum came up from Te Kuiti to stay with us. On the first morning of her visit, mum woke early and went downstairs on to the lounge deck. Suddenly she felt a steady flow of water trickling on to the top of her head, down her dressing gown and hands. Concerned it was raining, she looked up to see that puppy was squatting directly above her tinkling on the upstairs deck. Clearly house-training Molly has been a complete success!"
Here’s your chance to visit family and friends across the ditch. The New Zealand Herald and Air New Zealand are celebrating Sideswipe’s 10th birthday – and giving you the chance to win flights for four people to your choice of one of five fantastic Australian destinations. Simply send us a Sideswipe submission _ that hilarious original story or photo – between now and noon on Thursday and the best entry wins. To enter email email@example.com. Please include your full name (no pseudonyms) and a daytime phone number. We will publish the best entries through this week and the winner in a special Sideswipe on Friday.
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