Sideswipe

A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: Nov 5: No crusts for birds

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Trudy Renner Falconer finds Forrest Hill birds have been taking lessons on not eating crusts from the kids. Photo / Supplied
Trudy Renner Falconer finds Forrest Hill birds have been taking lessons on not eating crusts from the kids. Photo / Supplied

Reporters' practical joke backfires

A pair of newspaper reporters kidnapped a prominent Kyrgyzstan journalist and put a gun to her head before revealing it was all just for laughs, the BBC reports. Nazira Aytbekova says they held her at gunpoint and made her strip to her underwear and told her to sing. "They told me to dance and somebody was standing behind me and constantly poked the gun at my head." Next they ordered her to speak her "last words", and promised to shoot her. They finally admitted they were reporters at a newspaper that publishes a column on practical jokes. The newspaper apologised and fired the reporters. But Aytbekova - describing herself as "shaken and humiliated" - promises to press on with criminal charges. (Source: Newser.com)

Video: What the Prime Minister really said about Beckham....

Mammalian excrement 101

The phrase you were looking for, Prime Minister - in reference to a celebrity sportsman your son hung out with for 45 minutes - was "thick as pig shit". The viscosity of pig excrement is much greater than bat waste, therefore giving the phrase its authenticity and punch. You confused it with the popular phrase "boring as bat shit", which was used successfully by fashion designer Denise L'Estrange-Corbet to describe Princess Anne during her brief visit in 2010. ""She was as boring as [expletive] bat shit is what she was!" Corbett told the Herald on Sunday. "The world's hairdressers at your beck and call and your hair looks like a cottage loaf!"

Even more funny business

1. "Teaching at a school in London the head cook in the canteen was a Mrs Stew with a first name of Iris ..."

2. "In South Africa 'Human' is a relatively common surname. One of the better known funeral service companies in the Cape is 'Human and Pitt' ..."

3. "The company I work for uses Loo and Koo of Newmarket as its solicitors. I have always thought that rhyming names such as this were a coincidence but we recently were introduced to a new solicitor working for the firm - Ms Woo. What are the odds?"

4. "In London, two companies we saw ... Carter, Whey, and Tippett - a demolition removals company - and Underpin and Makegood (house repilers)."

5 "I remember some years ago a sign outside a drycleaning outfit in Auckland - 'Drop your tweeds at Chubbs'. It was owned by a well-known boxer at the time, Keith Chubb."

Holiday spirit: 1) Whisky Advent Calendar - behind each of the 24 doors is a different 3cl sample of liquid amber. Now that'll make the season bearable...
2) Army guy bottle opener, also cool...

Beauty is nothing without brains: Brazilian model Nana Gouvea and her husband went out into the streets of a post Hurricane Sandy New York, where he took photos of her posing on smashed cars and fallen trees. The internet didn't like her insensitivity and a mocking meme was born...

Seeing where you're going: Netherlands motorways will glow in the dark from mid-2013

Video: This indie filmmaker made his first kid an internet star with his superhero short Iron Baby and then had to do it all over again for kid number two...Here's Dragon Baby, a Kung-fu fighting toddler and his obnoxious stuffed toy dragon...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at
ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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