Ngahi Bidois: Manage change and lose stress

By Ngahi Bidois

The new year 2013 will bring a major change for me and my whanau. My son Eruera will leave home to attend Auckland University.

It just seems like yesterday that I hongied him shortly after he was born and through sharing one of his first breaths of life together we became one. One of the best pieces of advice I received when he was a baby was to make each day count and make memories.

We have been privileged to do things that many fathers and sons do not have the opportunity to do such as travel around the world three times, present at conferences together, including Google in New York and make loads of memories over the past 18 years and now he is leaving home.

I will miss him. I will miss his guitar playing, his jokes, his music, our in-depth conversations, his mates who frequented our home, his raucous laughter, his productive work on our property, ranging from mowing the lawns, clearing the gutters and getting stuff down from high shelves that I could not reach. Our home will not be the same without him.

So what changes are in store for you in 2013?

Change can be very difficult if we are not prepared for it. The natural reaction is to ignore it and hope it will go away. This often makes the situation worse because we end up with less time to deal with the change and stress is a friend of change that is not planned.

However both change and stress can be managed with help from others, which brings me back to 2013. I hope your new year includes many people who can help you cope with any change and stress that you encounter. People who you trust and can call at any time. People you have made many memories with. No matter what the year is, people are important. He aha te mea nui mo ia tau? He tangata he tangata he tangata.

I wish you a very enjoyable and safe new year. Nga mihi o te tau hou ki a koutou ko to whanau.

Ngahihi o te ra is from Te Arawa and is an international speaker, author and consultant. His book is available at Mcleods book store and the Lakeside cafe in Rotorua. His website can be viewed at

- Rotorua Daily Post

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