Dr Denise Aitken really wants to hear the answer when she asks a patient what's important to them.
April 16 is Conversations that Count Day, a national initiative led by a co-operative of hundreds of people across New Zealand's health system that is encouraging people to have a 'Conversation that Counts'.
That is, talk to those you care about and with those who will care for you as the end approaches about what you would want for ourselves. The theme is 'Start a Conversation'.
Dr Aitken, a Lakes District Health Board consultant physician, admits that talking about death and dying with patients is hard, but said advance care planning helped everyone to think about the issues and to begin to sort out what they did, and didn't want. All too often, she said, the conversations that count really only happened when someone was dying.
Dr Aitken said this often leads to many people not being able to spend their last weeks and months doing what they valued in a place they call home.
"Instead they can often be undergoing treatments they would not have chosen given the choice, away from their homes in a hospital or high care facility, isolated from their families by distance. And this can mean that many people who are dying don't get to say what they want to the important people in their lives, don't get to say 'I love you', 'thank you', 'sorry' or 'goodbye'."
She said starting a conversation that counted was a really good way to get the process underway for thinking and talking about, and planning for future health care and end of life care.
"Advance Care Planning helps us share what is important, it helps us think about how we want to be cared for as we approach the end of our lives."
She said she and her colleagues really wanted to know what patients wanted so that they could offer options that were acceptable to them, and that fitted their wishes.
"It's easy for health professionals to keep on treating people when that's not what is important to the patient," she said.
Dr Aitken said within Lakes DHB, healthcare staff would be encouraged to start having conversations with their family, friends and wider social networks. She wants people to feel confident to start conversations about what matters to them and what care and treatment they would want in the future.
Wider promotion of the campaign will hopefully help spur people across the Lakes district to start sorting out what's important to them.
Visit www.conversationsthatcount.org.nz to find out more, download the poster or email one of the postcards to someone you care about to help to get the ball rolling.
To find out more about Advance Care Planning visit www.advancecareplanning.org.nz.