That Guy

That Guy is a Herald on Sunday columnist

That Guy: Beach bargains by skipload are not to be missed

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Sea's bounty: Milk powder, going cheap. Photo / Waihi Leader
Sea's bounty: Milk powder, going cheap. Photo / Waihi Leader

Well, it is great to be back on deck and writing for you.

I hope everybody had a great New Year. I spent the bulk of my time down in Tauranga catching up with an old friend. I won't mention his name, because he doesn't want me to, and besides you probably won't know him anyway.

What a great spot it is down there. We spent a lot of time on the beach and enjoying all that beautiful region has to offer.

Now, however, it is back to reality.

Holidays can be expensive, so I would like to begin the year by selling a few items I accumulated over the holiday period.

I have a pair of brown Chino pants for sale. They are size 36 and have been worn only once for just a few minutes on Christmas day. So you could say they have had one careful owner.

Not really your thing? Then I also have 12 tonnes of small plastic beads. I am not sure what these are used for, and I can't tell you how I got them, but they have to have some sort of use for someone. I am willing to let these go cheap, let's say $150 a tonne, or I can sell them for half a cent a bead. There are about 950,000 beads in half a tonne, so you do the maths.

Into DIY? Well, I have 85 tonnes of four by two wood for sale. This is all treated timber, has weathered recent experiences well and I can deliver it in a container if you prefer. Milk powder? Don't ask me how I got it, but this is the real McCoy and I have three tonnes for sale. This would be ideal for somebody running a cafe or similar business that requires a lot of milk, perhaps a dairy or a cattery? Let's face it, you can never have too much milk - unless you are lactose intolerant.

If by some slim chance you are lactose intolerant, you might be more interested in items under the general debris category. I don't really want to go into specifics but I am selling this by the skipload.

The going rate for a skip of debris is currently $95 and I have 25 skips for sale.

Hey, how about some flotsam and jetsam? Much like the debris it is very difficult to go into too much detail as to what this actually is. I probably could have sold it as debris, but I feel flotsam and jetsam might appeal a little more to the more discerning shopper. Again it is sold by the skipload and I have just 12 for sale. As you would expect, a skip of flotsam and jetsam is priced a little higher at $125.

There's also a brand new Hyundai Santa Fe. This has only 12 nautical miles on the clock, and would make an ideal family wagon. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this vehicle but I am going to let it go for $450 if you agree to buy now, as is, where is.

If you are interested in any of these amazing deals, contact the editor, who will contact me, so I can contact my contact who will in turn contact you directly.

These are one-time-only summer offers.

Next up? Diving lessons.

- Herald on Sunday

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