I know I'm getting old because I can't work out Pinterest. I don't know where to click or how it works, and - having optimistically signed up - what its friendly emails are trying to get me to do. Why are people following me, anyway? I have no pins! How do I like a pin? Too many Pins, everywhere! Argh!
Specifically: Grain-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, "cakes", twee 60s side tables, and black and white images of painfully cool Joan Didion. It's a land of twee delights that looks dreamy and all, but (guilty admission) I never did get around to reading that Joan Didion, and I've only just found a failsafe way to poach eggs (put in a bowl of boiling water and microwave for 30 seconds). Entering the Pinterest world of mirage-like food might very well trigger some sort of terrible anarchist reaction in me, whereby I end up in McDonalds every night, munching despondently on fries.
Then there's the oft-discussed abundance of wedding-themed Pins, which surely make up at least half the entire site's content. Thousands of photos of dresses, veils, flower arrangements, table lay outs, cakes, rings, macaron displays - so many, many macaron displays.
Anything you can imagine that's even remotely related to that Special Day. People are obsessed.
Anyway. If any boys out there are reading this and want to join in the fun, except it all sounds too girly, there is now a Pinterest for men: Manteresting. An estimated 80 per cent of Pinterest users are female - despite proclamations by its founders that "the act of collecting is a universal behavior" - so it was just a matter of time, really.
Over at Manteresting, instead of pinning things, you "nail" them. And instead of "liking" them, you "bump" them. (Presumably after the knuckle greeting used by urbane dudebros.) The array of manly things you "nail" are gathered together at your "workbench" to admire. More than 75,000 things have been shared on the site already: largely women in their underwear, inspirational quotes about fitness, alcohol (beer, mainly) and handy projects like "Floating shelf with Secret Compartment". Although, who knows how many of them have been thrown into the mix by Manteresting's founders.
How long will Manteresting last? Is the gathering of inspirational imagery a predominantly female or "gatherer" instinct? If so, how much of that is actually "instinct" rather than the absorption of priorities traditionally assigned to women? Priorities like having the loveliest home, for instance, or being the prettiest bride/healthiest cook/most ardent cupcake baker.
Maybe women have more motivation to catalogue their dream kitchen, dream living room, dream dinner party and dream wedding - because those are the things that are supposed to matter to ladies, and subsequently do. After all, it's not as easy to "Pin" (or "nail") career success, power and influence.
Or maybe Pinterest's founders are right, and scrapbooking is a universal trait loved by both sexes. Going on that theory, young women just happened to discover Pinterest first, painting everything in sight baby pink and - in doing so - scaring men from the site. Although you might hope men weren't so insecure they'd need an overtly masculine website before they felt okay about pinning.
Manteresting isn't the first attempt to get men scrapbooking. There's also Gentlemint - which appears to house a bit of activity. At the time of writing, some front-page offerings include a man lifting weights ("Forget Steroids, Five Full Body Workouts For Serious Gains") a "Wall Bottle Opener With Catch", and "How to Make a Garden Fountain Out of Anything You Want".
Approximately as exciting as macaron displays and flower arrangements, if you ask me, but what do I know. Let the man-pins begin!
Are you in to Pinterest? Or Manteresting? What do you love about it? What annoys you about the concept?
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