Treaty Negotiations Minister Chris Finlayson rolled up to caucus on Tuesday morning sporting a tie with snails on it. Asked if the tie was symbolic of the pace of the Ngapuhi settlement talks, Finlayson replied it could well be described as his Ngapuhi tie.
The night before Sonny Tau, the man charged with trying to usher in the Ngapuhi settlement, had been rolled by his own board because of some pigeons.
Tau's undoing was being caught with some kereru - or kukupa if you're a Northlander - under his jacket when boarding a plane from Invercargill to Northland. It is somewhat ironic that the kereru were from the lands of one of the first iwi to sign a Treaty settlement - Ngai Tahu - and those kereru have impacted on the last major iwi to settle. There were varying reactions from anger to indifference to jokes. The Twitter hashtags inevitably started - #illegalTegel and #KFC - variously interpreted as Kaitahu Fried Chicken, Kereru For Cuzzies and Kereru Fried Chicken.
Things got rather more serious outside Twitter. It culminated in Tau being rolled as chair of Ngapuhi's settlement negotiation body, Tuhoronuku, on Monday night. Tau had given his detractors the excuse they were looking for. The problem is not only that it is against the law to hunt, possess, or receive kereru. Ngapuhi elder Kingi Taurua and Far North District Councillor Willow Jean Prime pointed out it is also frowned upon in terms of tikanga. Taurua explained that kukupa had always been sacrosanct, a delicacy reserved for elders on their death beds.
Ngati Hine are ringleaders in the Kotahitanga group which is challenging the mandate the Crown gave to Tuhoronuku. Ngati Hine imposed a rahui [ban] on kukupa over their rohe [area] in the mid-north in 1996 - a customary law reinforcement for the Government law. That rahui was driven by Kevin Prime, a highly respected Ngati Hine elder and conservationist. Little wonder Tau's actions antagonised Ngati Hine. There are now also calls for Tau to step down from Tuhoronuku and his other iwi roles completely, although Ngapuhi yesterday voted to keep Tau on as the iwi's runanga chairman but said it did not condone his actions.
Both Finlayson and Tuhoronuku's interim chair Sam Napia were busy dampening down any suggestion settlement talks could be derailed. Tragic as it will be for Tau, who has spent years on the settlement, some even see his sidelining as a way of breaking an impasse.
That will depend on who Ngapuhi choose to take over Tau's role. The whole schemozzle has brought into stark relief the problem Finlayson set out in blunt terms earlier this year - that Ngapuhi's settlement woes were not caused by pigeons but by roosters.
There are many who appear to believe they are qualified to step up to the role Tau has vacated and act as bridge builder. Tau Henare put his hand up, setting out his credentials on Twitter. There are reports Dover Samuels is also interested. Shane Jones has almost two years left as Pacific ambassador and was too busy in Tuvalu to say whether he was considering taking up the mantle of Son of the North.
Not so long ago one of the North's most gloriously cockcombed roosters, NZ First leader Winston Peters, was being talked up as the bridge who could bring the two sides together as a form of mediator. Peters has stayed silent on recent developments, beyond admitting he may have eaten kereru himself when a dish that didn't taste quite like chicken was served up on a marae. He was more outspoken about other bridges in Northland - the 10 National had promised to upgrade during last year's byelection.
Peters was also busy dealing with the coup that may or may not be happening in his own party. At the moment, the coup has the status of the tree falling in the forest with nobody to hear it. Word leaked out that Ron Mark was moving against Tracey Martin as deputy leader. Mark wasn't talking, Martin wasn't talking and the clearest statement Peters made on the issue was: "I shot an arrow in the air, where it lands I know not where."
The matter is decided by caucus vote and Mark may win. But there is a suspicion Peters is on Team Martin. Martin is loyal while Mark is ambitious and seen to be positioning himself as Peters' successor. That in itself is in breach of the cardinal rules of NZ First, which are similar to those of Fight Club. Rule number one: you do not hint at a post-Peters era. Rule number two: you DO NOT hint at a post-Peters era.