You may derive some amusement (I doubt instruction!) from the following, found while I was trawling papers past in pursuit of another project. It would make a change from the complexities of KiwiSaver.

Unfortunately the author of the doggerel is not stated so he/she cannot be credited, but perhaps decent anonymity is more appropriate.

It was in the Otago Witness of May 8, 1874, page 26, with no attribution. I don't know anything else about it.

It may well have been reprinted from an overseas newspaper, as seems to have been the local practice in those days.

LOVE, DRINK, AND DEBT.

Son of mine! The world before you
Spreads a thousand secret snares
Round the feet of every mortal
Who through life's long highway fares,
Three especial, let me warn you,
Are by every traveller met;
Three, to try your might of virtue
They are Love and Drink and Debt.
Love, my boy, there's no escaping,
'Tis the common fate of men;
Father had it; I have had it;
But for Love you had not been.
Take your chances, but be cautious;
Know a Squab is not a dove;
Be the upright man of honour;
All deceit doth murder love.
As for drink, avoid it wholly;
Like an adder it will sting;
Crush the earliest temptation.
Handle not the dangerous thing.
See the wrecks of men around us
Once as fair and pure as you
Mark the warning! Shun their pathway,
And the hell they're tottering through.
Yet though love be pure and gentle,
And from drink you may be free,
With a yearning heart I warn you
'Gainst the worst of all the three!
Many a demon in his journey
Bunyan's Christian Pilgrim met,
They were Lambs, e'en old Apollyon,
To the awful demon Debt!
With quaking heart and face abashed
The wretched debtor goes;
He starts at shadows, lest they be
The shades of men he owes,
Down silent streets he furtive steals,
The face of man to shun,
He shivers at the postman's ring,
And fears the dreadful dun.
Beware of Debt! Once in you'll be
A slave for evermore;
If credit tempt you, thunder "No!"
And show it to the door.
Cold water and a crust of bread
May be the best you'll get;
Accept them like a man and swear,
"I'll never run in debt."

I love your debty ditty. I was going to edit out the second and third verses, to keep it shorter, but then I decided that love and drink also belong in a Money column.