Diana Balham comes face to face with a very angry - but very pretty - volcano on the Vanuatu island of Tanna.
Time in Vanuatu is a very stretchy concept. Basil was up most of the night watching the Football World Cup so he looks a bit rough when he picks us up to take us to the airport in Port Vila. Two hours early. And then he doesn't come back. When we finally get there, we are late to check in but - no worries - the flight is delayed by an hour. And when we're almost due to land in Tanna, the captain announces that the weather is bad and we might have to turn back. Sure enough, we dip down towards the runway, wheels almost touching the tarmac, and then soar away again, back to Port Vila.
The volcano gods don't want us to visit, but our second attempt is successful and we're eating breakfast at Tanna Lodge by mid-morning. Or thereabouts.
Prince is a nice brown dog that lives at the lodge. He'll take you down to the beach and make you throw a stick for him, and then yip like a puppy while trying to decide whether to bury it or give it back. If you go for a swim, he'll gallop around and around the pool like a hopeless dressage pony, barking and desperate to jump in, although he knows he's not allowed to.
The beach is a wild west coast affair with black volcanic sand and great surges of sea that sluice up the ancient coral chasms and then dash away again. Boys from the local village come and collect not the beautiful shells that somehow survive unscathed, but plain grey stones for their slingshots. Coconut palms jangle in the breeze.
At the appointed hour we're outside, eager to see Mt Yasur - the world's most continuously active volcano, which has been erupting since before 1774, when Captain Cook first reported on its activity. There are two 4WDs but only one driver. Forty-five minutes pass and finally Ken comes barrelling up the drive on a quad bike. He flashes a huge and unrepentant smile, jumps into the driver's seat and we're off. Tanna's roads are a disastrous collection of potholes in close formation and Ned, our driver who looks about 16, says he needs to make up some time so we can see the sun set on the volcano. He floors it and we spend the next hour being juddered around as if we are laundry in a spin drier. But Ned is amazingly skilful and somehow we don't slide off the steep hills that lie between us and the mountain.
A convoy of vehicles crawls along the blasted ash plain at the base of the volcano. We jump out and walk up a steep, narrow ridge - marked only by a small sign that says "Think safety!"
The unfenced scree slope falls away on either side, but more particularly on the side where the erupting south crater is performing, a mere 150m and a short, terrifying tumble away.
Yasur is chucking out fountains of orange lava and spitting a constant cloud of grit and ash into our faces. Every few minutes there's a thundery rumble from the mouth of the crater and an explosion of liquid rock and gas is fired higher into the sky. Thinking safety won't do me any good up here.
We're unable to take our ever-more grit-filled eyes off the extraordinary scene. The sun sets and the tropical night falls in a heartbeat and still Yasur roars away like a grumpy circus tiger. Time - minutes, hours, millennia - means absolutely nothing. Eventually we are bumped and battered back down the road, taking a long cut to drop off visitors whose truck blew a radiator hose on the trip in.
The next day, time resumes its usual shape. We have another plane to catch, a little 19-seater Twin Otter, and this one leaves half an hour early because everyone is on board. Twin Otter, single rooster: the cargo includes a chook in a cardboard box. His head sticks out one end where a hole has been cut and he looks around quite calmly. Perhaps he is a frequent flyer. Either way, he will be home in time for dinner.
CHECKLIST
Getting there: Air Vanuatu flies from Auckland to Efate (Port Vila) Wednesdays and Saturdays and codeshares with Air New Zealand on other days (Sunday and Tuesdays are seasonal). The airline flies from Port Vila to Tanna Island seven days a week. A 20 per cent discount on the Tanna flights is available for Air Vanuatu international passengers (must be purchased in Vanuatu).
Accommodation: Tanna Lodge has 12 thatched bungalows. The lodge runs its own volcano safari tours.
The writer travelled courtesy of Vanuatu Tourism and Air Vanuatu.