First there was vajazzling, than came the vattoos and now, because the world isn't going through enough suffering, it seems vagina wigs are becoming a thing.
The catwalk at New York Fashion Week is hardly meant to be a representation of what you should be wearing to work and it's never shy of weird and wonderful items from designers who let their creativity run loose. But this? This is something else.
In this year's event, among the weird coats, the complicated-to-wear dresses and the bizarre hairpieces, there was the one thing we did not need to see.
South Korean fashion designer Kaimin (who you won't be surprised to know has dressed Lady Gaga and Bjork) is behind what is being referred to as the "merkin renaissance".
If you absolutely must know (fun fact alert, handy if you go to pub quizzes at slightly dodgy pubs), the merkin was the fashion accessory of choice for the medieval prostitute.
It was originally worn for health and sanitary reasons, to stop things like crabs and other less-than-fashionable STDs.
If you ever dreamed of dressing like a hooker from the 1600s, Kaimin has you covered (well, barely).
Kaimin's show included a range of vagina wigs in different shapes, styles and colours. A few of them looked a lot like mini mohawks for your nether region, the number one body part that should never, ever, feature a mohawk.
A press release explained the merkins were created to "assist irregular silhouettes" (whatever that means) and to "bridge the gap of hard versus soft" (umm, what?).
Honestly, I had some more stuff to write about why vagina wigs need to die a quick death and never be spoken of again but, actually, I think I'll just wrap this up here.
Just ... no.