Ordering icecreams ... with a large dollop of pain

"My brother took his family to the Parakai Hot Pools for a fun family day out on Father's Day," writes a reader. "Spirits were high and when generous dad decides to shell out for a round of icecreams the kids excitedly jostle for position around the treats kiosk, yelling out their preferred flavours. Dad orders each child two scoops of icecream in a cup. The 6-year-old son wants a cone, but dad sticks with the cups - it's easier. Overcome with feelings of injustice, the red mist descends and 6-year-old delivers a powerful precision blow to dad's unprotected berries. Dad crumples to the floor. Consumed with shock and confusion as to why he has been assaulted in such a brutal manner; dad is unable to move or speak and is having trouble breathing. With the little dignity he has left, his trembling hand passes his wallet up to his wife so she can finish paying. The good news is after a trip to the doctor yesterday (pain had not subsided after a week) he has been given assurances the damage isn't permanent along with a prescription of anti-inflammatories."

Not hard to detect surf fans went thirsty

"When I was in Sydney in the 1980s we used metal detectors on the beaches after hot sunny days to gather up the lost coins," writes Geoff. "My mate Rod often detected all night if the going was good and lucrative. One night he was still going at 4am when he got this large signal that he knew was not a coin, so he scooped the sand away and the top of a beer can appeared. That can was full. So was the next. He proceeded to dig out 24 cans of Tooheys New. Off came his shirt and he bundled them all up and took them back to his car. A surfing competition was being held that weekend with shade tents along the grass strip of the promenade that had some overnight campers. Their 'fridge' was 10 feet out from a mark on the wall and two feet under the sand. Methinks they were not happy the next day!"

Not the traditional name... Photo / Supplied
Not the traditional name... Photo / Supplied

Trials and tribulations in transit lane

A reader writes: "To the lady who, on pulling out from a side street on to Remuera Rd without looking, causing a spectacular emergency stop that ended an inch from the side of your car, a couple of points. Firstly, your self-righteously repeating "transit lane" rather than simply apologising would possibly hold more weight if you knew that motorbikes are allowed in a transit lane! Secondly, if it had in fact been a driver-only car (and therefore not allowed in the transit lane), it wouldn't have stopped in time and I can only hope that your being right would provide much comfort for you as they cut your body from your mangled car."

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz