So, whodunnit? If you have ask what I'm talking about then there's probably not a lot of point in you reading on. This column is probably only for those who are completely, utterly, madly obsessed with who the hell killed Danny Latimer.
With seven episodes of Broadchurch gone and only one episode left to screen tomorrow night at 8.30 on TV One, the identity of the killer is still a complete riddle to me -- and to everybody I know who is watching what has to be the best murder mystery series in years.
All we have are endless, frustrating theories, largely because this is such a clever piece work by writer Chris Chibnall. Any one of a half dozen characters could have killed young Danny.
It's not like we couldn't know. Someone with full knowledge of who did the terrible deed tells me there were two very big clues in last week's instalment.
But for those of us still blundering around on Broadchurch's dark, windswept beach, this is what we know as we await tomorrow night's finale: Susan, the mad woman in the caravan, saw Nige (who, as well as being the colleague of Danny's father, Mark, turned out to be her long-lost son) dump Danny's body on the beach on the night of the murder. Nige has a hell of a temper as well as a crossbow, so it was no wonder poor Susan and her dog beat a retreat from Broadchurch at the end of last week's episode.
Other things we know: Nige and Danny (and Danny's sister's boyfriend, Dean) went out poaching together, which was a complete surprise to Danny's family.
We have learned too that DI Alec Hardy, he of the dicky ticker, has found out something very interesting from the restored emails on the hard drive of the laptop that was owned and (importantly) smashed up by Tom, the son of Hardy's colleague and fellow investigator DS Ellie Miller. For a long time we thought Tom was Danny's best friend. But a couple of episodes ago it was revealed Tom hated Danny's guts, which might or might not explain why Tom tried to delete or destroy emails and texts from Danny when he learned Danny was dead.
Also in the frame is the frowning, dull and self-righteous Reverend Coates who is a recovering alcoholic who likes touching boys' thighs, has insomnia and keeps behaving like a wrong 'un. We also know that Coates broke up a savage fight between Danny and Tom, which he claimed to have reported to both sets of parents but was news to Ellie (though possibly not her husband, Fred).
There's more: we think we know that Danny was killed on a fishing boat that was then burned. We think Susan cleaned up a house on the cliffs where traces of Danny's blood was found.
We know that the coppers found £500 under Danny's bed and that Danny's sister, Chloe, had cocaine in her room supplied by her boyfriend, Dean.
Then there is the mysterious fight Danny had with a postman, which was seen by Jack, the tragic, grumpy news agent who killed himself.
And here's what we don't know: why mad Susan hid Danny's skateboard and why she was schmoozing young Tom. Or whether the self-described psychic, Steve, who claims to be receiving coded messages from Danny from beyond the grave, is straight up or barmy or a crazed killer messing with everyone's minds.
Is it Steve? Is it the postman? Frankly, it could have been anyone. I'm in such a spin about it that for a brief moment last week I suspected Susan's dog. For the record my theory is that Tom did it. But hold on, now I come to think of it, why did he not delete the texts and emails until after his mother told him Danny was dead? If he'd murdered Danny he'd have done that earlier, wouldn't he? Bugger.
So maybe it's the Rev Coates. Or Nige. Or Ellie's husband. Or even Danny's father, Mark.
I have no idea. The only thing I really know for sure is that at 8.30 tomorrow night everything will be revealed. Can't wait.
- TimeOut