Like most New Zealanders, I have at times found the television pictures of Christchurch's earthquake disaster too much to bear.
I find that I need to take a break, in a way that those directly involved cannot, from the scenes of personal tragedy and total devastation.
But, as for others no doubt, there is from time to time a report that has a particular resonance and significance for me. Such a moment came at lunchtime on Saturday, when it was reported that a historic mansion on Bealey Ave had been demolished.
No one can doubt, as Mayor Bob Parker has said, that the primary focus in the immediate aftermath of the disaster must be the people caught up in the tragedy - the loss of life, the rescue of those who were trapped and injured, and the suffering of families who have lost loved ones.
But, in the fullness of time, we will have time to reflect on the loss of heritage as well - of so much that was part of Christchurch's history, so much of its heart and soul.
We can already see the scale of that loss in the damage suffered by the Cathedral and other iconic buildings.
The now demolished mansion in Bealey Ave was one such.
In 1850, my great great great grandfather, George Gould, sailed to New Zealand with his young bride, Hannah. They arrived in Wellington on November 5.
The young couple spent a few weeks in the North Island before sailing again, this time for Christchurch, where they disembarked on February 11, 1851.
While in the North Island, George Gould had built with his own hands the framework of the house he intended to erect. He had taken the "pre-fab" on board the Camilla, and on disembarking at Lyttelton he then had to transport the structure via Sumner and the Avon river to Christchurch.
The house eventually reached its destination near the southeast corner of Armagh and Colombo Sts and was erected before the month was out. It was the first completed wooden house in the Christchurch city area.
The building became not only a home but was also the first site of a store and farming services and trading enterprise - what eventually developed into Pyne Gould Guinness. The business prospered, and George Gould became one of the most successful and prominent of Christchurch citizens. By 1856 he had amassed enough money to move from the "pre-fab" to a house he had built on a 40.5ha site he had purchased on the west side of Springfield Rd.
The new dwelling was best described as a Victorian gentleman's residence, though built in the colonial style.
In addition to spacious living quarters and a large number of bedrooms, it boasted many other features ranging from a large butler's pantry adjacent to the kitchen to a panelled ballroom. The house looked out on to extensive grounds, which included a large, formal garden.
George Gould had been born and brought up in Hambleden, a small English village on the banks of the River Thames. His grandfather, Caleb Gould, had been a famous lock-keeper at Hambleden; visitors to the lock to this day will see displayed many references to Caleb Gould and an account of his exploits is to be found in most histories of the Thames.
George Gould decided to name his splendid new house after the place of his birth.
With his new house established as the family home, George then arranged for his parents, Joseph and Susan, to come out to New Zealand to join them.
Joseph and Susan lived in a small house that George built for them in the grounds of Hambleden.
When I returned to New Zealand from Britain in the mid-1990s my sister, Ngaire, and I spent some time looking for the old family home on a visit to Christchurch.
It was feared that it had been demolished. We could find nothing in Bealey Ave that looked like the photographs of the original house. It took us some time to realise that the photographs were all taken from the front of the house, across the extensive grounds which had long since been filled in with small houses, and that what could be seen from Bealey Ave was in fact the unphotographed back of the house.
We discovered that the mansion had become the residence of the Bishop of Christchurch in the later part of the 19th century, and had spent part of its more recent history as a private hotel - also known as Hambleden.
I had the pleasure of staying there overnight on one of my visits to the city.
The demolition of Hambleden, and the sad and unfortunate link through the Gould family to the fate of another building that - with its occupants - has been a tragic victim of the earthquake, means the loss of another small part of Christchurch's history.
In bringing it to the attention of a wider readership, I discharge an obligation I feel to the memory of George Gould.By Bryan Gould