There is an old saying that goes: "If you can't get laid at a Big Foot conference/expo, you can't get laid anywhere!", and for the most part I would have to agree with this. However, I might add that although your chances are good, be prepared for it to be with a heavily tattooed woman who could conceivably weigh in at 130 to 180kg.

I attended, or rather gatecrashed, the annual Big Foot conference this year, rather controversially in Ohio. Officially I was there making a documentary series called Leigh Hart's Mysterious Planet for TV2, but rather than research the mythical upright walking hominid himself, I was far more interested in those attending the event.

To cut a long story short, I have never seen so many freak shows in one place at one time.

The conference took place at Salt Fork Lodge which is close to where many Big Foot sightings have apparently occurred in the past, the first as far back as 2004. Coincidentally, that was also the first year they held the conference here.

More than 450 Big Foot enthusiasts attended and for three long days my crew and I walked among them on tours of littered picnic areas; sat through tedious power point demonstrations plagued with technical difficulties; and chatted to people who felt it appropriate to walk around the complex swinging plastic bags filled with fresh faeces, all "samples" that clearly came from a large upright walking hominid.

Diane, a "tell-it-how-it-is" female Big Foot researcher, reminded us that not every broken branch in the woods can be attributed to Big Foot and that other known animals such as bears also make footprints on the odd occasion.

She was remarkably logical and scientific, but blew all credibility when she admitted she still believed in Big Foot, although she had never actually seen it herself.

Her credibility was further called into question when, in the early hours, rather than being out on one of the scheduled night hunts, she chose to stay in the Wild Things bar and pashed not one, but two different camouflage-wearing Big Foot enthusiasts.

Another speaker hadn't actually been back in the woods since 1981.

He was clearly emotionally scarred by his "encounter" and had trouble talking about the details without crying, getting feedback from the microphone or talking in a voice that suggested his testicles were being given a powerful foot massage.

This guy was so emotional you would think that rather than just seeing a Big Foot eating berries in the woods, he had been gang raped by five of them. He also blamed Big Foot for his overweight condition.