By CATHERINE MASTERS
Lying in a hospital bed with yet another painful nipple infection, Louise Martin says the posters on the walls seemed to scream at her "breast is best".
She remembers being pumped full of antibiotics at North Shore Hospital and feeling depressed and "so guilty" because she could not breast-feed her first-born son, Patrick.
He would later die from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (Sids, or cot death) in the care of Child, Youth and Family.
The agency had been called in by the hospital's overstretched maternal mental health service because it held serious fears for the baby's safety.
Four-month-old Patrick was removed from his parents with the aid of police and died two weeks later, last Wednesday.
Although the autopsy revealed Sids, to some people the case highlights flaws in a system they say does not adequately care for women mentally affected by a traumatic birth, nor the often severe feelings of worthlessness faced by those who cannot breast-feed their babies.
CYF staff felt they had to take Patrick because Mrs Martin had shaken him, thrown him onto a couch and placed a hand over his mouth.
Craig and Louise Martin say the incidents were minor, Patrick was not harmed and that Mrs Martin had asked for help but it was inadequate.
Waitemata District Health Board says maternal mental health staff were morally and legally obliged to refer the case to CYF, and extended its deepest sympathy to the grieving parents.
A spokeswoman said Mrs Martin had received "very comprehensive" care - especially given under-resourcing in Auckland - for several months until the baby was taken away.
Mr Martin admits he was aggressive with staff from various services, including verbally threatening them.
Women's health activist and Alliance list MP Phillida Bunkle says all the services in the world will not help unless a correct diagnosis is made in the first place.
Often, women who endure traumatic births are diagnosed with postnatal depression when they have post-traumatic stress disorder.
"It's very difficult to lay responsibility and blame, but what I can tell you is that professional training in this area is seriously deficient."
Others say difficulties with breast-feeding alone are enough to plunge women into despair.
Adelia Hallett has written a book about the strong feelings of worthlessness she experienced for not breast-feeding.
"There are two sides to it. One is the intellectual failure you feel because you know, because everyone's told you, that's what you must do.
"But there is also the kind of primitive side of it where it's a very basic thing to feed your baby and you think you will be able to do it automatically and then you discover it doesn't work like that."
Women end up questioning their whole worth, she says.
A woman in the same ward as Mrs Martin remembers how depressed she was, that she was in constant pain and that she spent hours trying to express milk using a pump while on a drip.
This woman also had mastitis, a breast infection, and says her breasts bled and were so painful she lied to the midwife and bought formula instead, trying not to feel guilty about it.
Adelia Hallett recalls that trying to express milk via an electric breast pump made her feel like a cow.
The Martins must now come to terms with life without their child. In Patrick's room, his empty cot is surrounded by stuffed toys and on the wall is a collage of smiling baby pictures mapping his progress. Mrs Martin cannot stop the tears.
"I'm angry," she says. "And I'm shocked and numb. I'm sad and I'm confused. I'm lonely and I'm childless."
AdvertisementAdvertise with NZME.