NZ at Noon: Unfunny fires and the green monster's return

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Who is that masked green monster?
Who is that masked green monster?

Stories making headlines across New Zealand at noon include two toddlers setting a 1.52 metre clown on fire, rustlers fuelling an underground meat trade and the green monster rises again!

Two toddlers probably would not have realised the consequences of setting the 1.52 metre (5ft) tall clown in their room on fire.

After the man in the green monster suit gave up the ghost last week, it is secret squirrels about who has replaced him.

Te Rarawa and Ngati Kahu are having a land battle in Northland.

A gang leader claimed his fleet of fast cars was partially paid for by his success as a professional gigolo.

The underground meat trade is fuelling stock thefts with rustlers dumping animal carcasses around Napier. Over in Wanganui, even sheep reared to help raise funds for primary school camps are being stolen. Stock isn't the only thing being nicked from rural areas.

TV soap Shortland Street apparently saved this guy's life.

The great outdoors "go-to guy" for the so-called Kiwi elite has a secret sorrow. Meanwhile out in the beautiful Rotorua wilderness poachers are threatening to stab Fish and Game officers.

The official list of enemies of the Labour Party is apparently getting longer and longer. Meanwhile you might get a call from someone at the tax department enthusing about the "John Key Scheme".

And if you want to eat like the Prime Minister you are in luck.

Incidents of cellphone theft are rising.

Customers are apparently flocking to a local Bay of Plenty Lotto store in record numbers.

Len Reid waited nine long years for rugby league to be one of the elite sports at the NZCT AIMS Games. Meanwhile the Steamers have blown it.

In Gisborne, an increasing form of elder abuse involves opportunist women preying on older men. "It is all about sexual favours and when the money is gone so are the women."

Meanwhile a man in woman's clothes knocked on the door of an elderly man's house in Gisborne and asked to borrow the phone around 2pm on Monday. A real woman did the same thing in Ashburton.

New Zealand has one of the lowest rates of male early childhood teachers in the OECD, at around 1 percent.
Meanwhile in Taranaki, both the community rescue helicopter pilots have quit.

Over in Masterton, an alleged drink-driver doing doughnuts lost control, crashed through 30m of fence and then fled the scene, leaving his injured mate behind. Meanwhile there's trouble at the weekly Wairarapa Farmers' Market.

Renowned international musician Don McGlashan is going to hold a concert in Carterton.

This time last year, there was talk of demolishing the Martinborough Town Hall.

This is how you open an art gallery.

David Bain's "delighted" future mother-in-law visited him in prison and billeted him during his second trial in Christchurch, making his lunch every day.

The Block winners Libby and Ben Crawford have spoken of "dark times" on the show which had been a "hard slog" and they were "hideously emotional."

Three-year-old Christchurch cat Chiefie jumped into a container and hitched a ride to Auckland.

Meanwhile the man on the run after allegedly firebombing a house in Hornby is also believed to be in the North Island.

Police have identified the store which sold a group of teenagers 16 canisters of butane, which killed a teenager last month.

Ashburton has apparently become a day trip haven for earthquake-weary Christchurch red zoners.

Otago is on ice.

The group of males causing unrest in Queenstown probably weren't aware they were being filmed.

Crime in Cromwell has dropped but disorder is apparently increasing.

The owner of a Muttontown lifestyle block is "bloody annoyed" after losing eight of his nine ewes in the past month.

Meanwhile Alliance Group is starting a third shift at its Pukeuri plant.

Top trending topics on Twitter in NZ at Noon were: #ReeceTo150k, #JaiFollowMe, #3DAYS, Tuhoe, New Zealand, Reece, Auckland, #WordsISayWhenImMad and #NZLvSOL

- nzherald.co.nz

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