Stories making headlines across New Zealand at noon include taunts by elite Christchurch schoolboys causing offence, a drug dealer exchanging texts with people asking to buy some "green" wasn't the only one reading them and a woman who shocked churchgoers appears in court.
As the substitute player from Christchurch Boys' High came onto the pitch, the black-and-white attired fans from Christ's College started chanting, "Your mum's our cleaner."
Ohauiti woman Teresa Rangimarie Moeke did not realise police were carrying out a covert analysis of her text messages.
A 25-year-old Whangarei woman whose X-rated antics in a church carpark earned the wrath of churchgoers has appeared in court.
Meanwhile outside a Tauranga supermarket, robbers wanting to steal a wallet decided to create a distraction by pushing over a shopping trolley with a terrified baby strapped in it.
Nurse Maude Hospital & Hospice spokesperson Sue Bramwell is adamant foul play is not behind the disappearance of a tray of about 30-40 marmite sachets.
South of Katikati, Karen Turner knew they were hiding and waited for them to do something. "Show yourself or I'll call the police," she yelled out.
Wearing a bright yellow, fluorescent top is a bad idea if you are trying to run from police.
Edward Terrence Hulton beat an 8-week-old puppy causing serious injuries to her eyes and face.
There's a big discussion going on here about treaty settlements.
There's one less person on Hawke's Bay's wanted list.
In Haumoana, residents say they feel intimidated by dog control officers supposedly creeping around.
For non-mathematical hairsplitters, the physical difference of day and night length is not actually noticeable over this week.
Most people apparently like busker Dan Hawke except the woman who poked her tongue out at him.
This lawyer was fined this morning for resisting arrest.
Facebook is learning what you look like and using that information without permission.
Have you seen this man?
Out in the central North Island countryside, Kai Iwi school kids have been standing on the side of the road waving placards.
Meanwhile in the Wairarapa, Labour leader David Shearer has discovered a petition calling for more government money is "the easiest petition I've ever had to get signatures for."
The driver charged after he smashed his bus into an overhead rail bridge while carrying Woolston School pupils has apologised.
Whangarei Intermediate School achieved a rare double by clinching a youth performing arts' event on its debut in the competition.
Burglars picked on the wrong guy when they robbed Ian Soanes in Cardrona.
A car that crashed head-on into a milk tanker near Blackball killing two teenagers had been modified just hours before.
And two Asian women who were swept to their deaths in a night-time crossing of the glacier-fed Waiho River ignored an international warning sign.
Top trending items on Twitter in NZ at noon included: #BFGW, #1Dchallenge, #TruthIs, The GC, Snow White and the Huntsman, Aotea Square, Windows Phone 8, Flight of the Conchords, Welly, and Auckland.