Stories making headlines across New Zealand at noon include Tiki Taane's seeming obsession with singing "F*** Da Police" when cops are around, the Catholic Church purchasing penguin catcher nets and being a member of Split Enz was apparently like being on another planet.
Charitable singer Tiki Taane obviously still doesn't think there's any problem with singing "F*** Da Police" while apparently pointing at cops patrolling a nightclub full of party people. Taane said earlier he needed "the right vibe" to sing the derogatory song which got him arrested once before.
For the record, Dave Dobbyn did worse than that by publicly wishing "those riot squad guys would stop w**king and put their little batons away" and allegedly causing a riot and he's a national Taonga now.
Meanwhile being a member of another musical Taonga, Split Enz, was apparently "like going off to another planet" and had "not much to do with being a member of society."
This is the firearm a Waikato schoolboy allegedly used to shoot a classmate in the head with.
Over in Tauranga, it's unclear why the Catholic Church has purchased penguin catcher nets but nuns were not thought to be involved. Meanwhile the quiet smoothness of living in streets paved in hot mix have been spared the prospect of rough chip reseals.
An expert has declared unsafe the Matapihi railway footbridge used by 500 people each day but don't worry the council says you can still use it because the alternative is apparently even worse.
Minister of Education Hekia Parata says 90 per cent of schools will gain teachers or have a net loss of less than one under proposed changes but Kamo Intermediate isn't one of them. Over in Wanganui they are not happy either.
A woman having a smoke outside Whangarei Hospital's maternity ward has been attacked by a man on a scooter. If you are a smoker in Auckland you now have to stay away from playgrounds and sportsgrounds.
Rotorua's Kiri Danielle is about to go around the country talking to the older generation about providing for their families from their own gardens.
Members of a rare threatened species have decided the middle of Gisborne is a good place to set up a home.
Wanganui woman Rose White Tahuparae is on her way to London to see the Queen.
A body has been found in Marton.
Former All Black captain Taine Randell is part of a Hawke's Bay marae's plans to buy hundreds of state houses in Flaxmere.
Wairarapa drivers are being warned to prepare for cows.
In Christchurch, during a school trip some of the kids on the bus apparently said 'We won't fit under there' just before seven of them and a staff member ended up in hospital.
Boy racers in Christchurch are putting false licence plates on their vehicles.
Wound-up Ashburton District councillors had to be reminded their meetings are public forums and "Once it's been said in public, it's very hard to take it back."
David Mose, who hadn't been near the sea for over 15 years after nearly drowning, suddenly found himself floating off Cape Saunders with his step son in a grave situation. "An albatross started circling above us and then sat down beside us in the water. I was looking at it, thinking, 'Please be good luck'", he said.
Top trending topics on Twitter in NZ at Noon include #inspire, Doha, Italy, New Zealand, Auckland, #SamoanLanguageWeek, Samoa, Wellington, China and iPhone.