Shane 'blue movie' Jones still butt of humour

By Derek Cheng

Labour Party MP Shane Jones. Photo / Doug Sherring
Labour Party MP Shane Jones. Photo / Doug Sherring

Will there ever come a time when Shane Jones will lose the pornography tag?

If not, it will be a shame because the sight of Jones in full cry is enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

But the tag of Minister of Pornography - after he put blue movies on his ministerial credit card - means it's virtually impossible for him to heckle anyone, as was demonstrated amid fits of laughter during yesterday's question time.

Jones has been all over the media for two days, coining the phrase tupperwaka for the $2 million plastic waka the Government is building for the Rugby World Cup.

Like an entertaining (annoying?) parrot that won't shut up, Jones' "tupperwaka!" interjections resonated through the debating chamber unchallenged, until National's Tau Henare took exception.

Henare stared down his enemy before articulating loudly into his microphone: "How is Linda Lovelace these days?"

The mention of the Deep Throat porn-star sent the whole chamber - Labour included - into snorting fits of the chuckles, while Jones was suddenly deeply occupied with a close inspection of the side of his armchair.

As if the attention wasn't enough, Trevor Mallard turned on the heat, apparently concerned some of his colleagues had missed out on the below-the-belt swipe.

"There is an amount of giggling here and we didn't all hear Tau Henare's interjection; I wonder whether he'd like to repeat it," Mallard said.

Speaker Lockwood Smith, an infinitely proper man, tried to say he didn't think that was necessary, but his lungs imploded under the weight of his own laughter before he could finish his sentence.

Steven Joyce then landed the king hit while trying to laud the benefits of the Victoria Park Tunnel.

"Good news!" Joyce crowed. "I visited the Victoria's Secret - sorry - Victoria Park construction site this morning."

The lesson here is that there's very little comeback if you've done something so unforgettable.

It was something David Garrett learned when he tried to get a rise out of Hone Harawira during a chance meeting in an airport lounge, only for Harawira to dismiss the former Act MP with the simple line: "Stop stealing dead babies' identities."

- NZ Herald

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