How they deal with the electronic home invasion

Patrick, Luisa Shanahan, Foss and nana Adriana van der Fluit put great value on family time. Picture / Glenn Jeffrey

It is so easy, so insidious, to allow things like Nintendo to take over your children's lives, says Luisa Shanahan.

She and husband Allan, of Milford, combat the electronic invasion with strict rationing.

Patrick, 9, and Foss, 11, do not have mobile phones. They are allowed just one hour of TV/DVD/GameBoy when they get home from school.

After that it's homework, playing with the rabbit, taking the dog for a walk, swimming, dinner, soccer, sailing and hockey for Foss, soccer or piano for Patrick.

Luisa, 46, explains how cellphones keep children one step removed from their parents, rather than keep them in touch.

"They text their parents minutes before they're to be picked up from, say, rugby practice: 'We're going to Takapuna'. Some parents just sigh and turn the car around. I text straight back: 'I'm on my way. Stay there'."

Her problem with electronic toys, games and entertainment is not that they speed up kids' lives but steal them from family life.

"They're incredibly good babysitters - it's very easy for a weekend to go by without parents and children interacting."

Luisa is not about to let that happen. Every school night the family - including Laura and James, Luisa's children from her first marriage - sit down to dinner when Allan gets home. Often the boys head off to soccer or sailing with their father, who doubles as coach.

Laura, 16, a school athletic champion, has never encountered phone or text bullying. She doesn't like computers and doesn't drink or smoke because it interferes with her training.

She has, however, had to deal with the fallout from divorce and her father being in Australia. But, as she says, many of her classmates have to cope with divorces: "There's the odd complicated one, but most have sorted it out."

The biggest issue was crashing the children's car. It was during school time. Although Laura had only a restricted licence she was driving friends. "I had to pay off the $1000 excess before I was allowed to drive again. That's mum's rules."

Mum's rules also include: home by midnight on Fridays and Saturdays; no dates during the week; no boyfriend sleeping over. Laura says: "Family's the best part of my childhood".

James, who is studying commerce and psychology at Auckland University, has a girlfriend, a job at Burger Wisconsin and a laptop.