Stories making headlines across New Zealand at noon include the aftermath of 60 people showing a "considerable amount of violence" in Wairarapa,
Blinded by pepper spray, Sheldon Dean Hokianga didn't realise he was taking a swing at a police sergeant during what a judge described as a "pretty ugly night in Masterton".
Meanwhile in Dunedin's student area, they have been biffing molotov cocktails and setting tyres alight while the residents of one flat barricaded themselves inside.
You just never know what's going to turn up on an afternoon fishing off the Northland coast.
Following reports a month ago that two tourists were "pushed" by an invisible ghost, Larnach Castle has been quick to capitalise on the paranormal opportunity.
Adam Saville, who knocked himself out while trying to flee a Whangarei store, will have plenty of time to reflect on what went wrong while doing community service.
A woman kidnapped and repeatedly punched, headbutted and smothered with a blanket by ex rugby player Wade Pereira is still in a relationship with him and changed her story, but a jury didn't buy it.
Farewell, little Chace Topperwien.
A judge says it is not possible to regard tikanga Maori as a parallel justice system.
Hauraki Hira didn't realise the bloke sitting at his table covered with 15 cannabis tinnies and an ounce-bag was actually an undercover cop.
Fresh out of prison, Heta Lloyd Brass allegedly crashed his car through a church fence.
Here's a video of some blokes trying to blow up a hill.
A Christchurch woman wearing pyjamas who was "blotto" and had crashed her car with three children under 5 in the back seat insisted she would be okay to continue driving home.
Ashburton dentists are run off their feet. "At the moment it's like a cockie with 2000 ewes, which all of a sudden have triplets and then they go wahoo, but then say, hang on, how am I going to feed them all?," one dentist said.
Mid Canterbury's Catholic schools and churches don't have earthquake insurance.
Meanwhile Queenstown is ready to party.
Over near Albert Town, a dog which mauled 14 sheep last week has returned leaving a dead sheep so "badly crushed, it's popped its eyes out".
For North Otago couple Kerry and Aaron Packer, the decision to pack up their life and move to Australia wasn't hard.
And most of the buildings at the abandoned Greymouth raceway look set to be demolished.
Top trending topics on Twitter in NZ at noon were: #1DChallenge, #TruthIs, #ThingsToNeverAskADJ, The GC, Windows Phone 8, Surface, Snow White and the Huntsman, Fed, Flight of the Conchords and Sony.