Sideswipe: Jan 16: Plate with confusing point
Someone got a bit carried away with this poster headline. Photo / Supplied
A reader writes: Driving through picturesque Oratia on the outskirts of West Auckland I noticed an SUV with the number plate MRSTAB and my son and I were trying to work out if it was being driven by a lady from the TAB or some guy with a knife!?"
Poll shenanigans
Someone is trying to swing a poll on Minister Murray McCully's website about the Marriage Equality Bill. Pastor Peter Mortlock at the Impact Church emailed his worshippers encouraging them to vote: "Since we are able to vote as many times as we like, I'd encourage you to place your votes and keep checking back." But ministerial staffers have cottoned on and the site now explains that multiple votes will be removed. Rigging a poll doesn't seem very Christian does it? In the name of fairness, Sideswipe readers can go to www.mccully.co.nz and vote.
Putting petrol heads together
Murray Hunter from Titirangi writes: "The Whangamata Coastal News last Thursday had a letter complaining that the local New World supermarket switched from BP to Mobil petrol vouchers and Whanga only has a Z garage. Meanwhile, Waihi has BP and Mobil but only a Countdown, which gives Z vouchers. So once a month Whanga people meet their friends from Waihi and swap supermarket petrol vouchers they can use in their home town. Creative eh?"
Expressions that exasperate
Trade Me users share the phrases that give them the heebies ...
1. "My bad" instead of my mistake.
2. Saying "nom nom nom" about a pleasant tasting food.
3. "Yeah, nah" ... come on, which is it?
4. When kids say "just jokes" after they have said something mean.
5. "Nek minnit" ... was good but thrashed to death now!
6. "Just sayin(g)" ... a way of avoiding responsibility for your own opinions.
7. "I am so jelly" ... short for "I am so jealous" apparently.
8. "Totes" (totally) and "totes amazeballs" used by anyone over 20 years old, unless with heavy irony.
9. "Vee jay jay" as a cutesy term for vagina.
10. "When push comes to shove."
11. "Whatever floats your boat."
12. "Passionate" ... so overused, it's lost all its va-voom.
13. "First world problem" ... done its dash.
14. "WE are pregnant" ... No. She is pregnant and he fathered the kid.
15. "Dub Dub Dub dot" ... Just say the domain name!
Picture this: Famous album covers re-imagined with kittens...
Quick clip #1: Watching a police chase on TV when...
Quick clip: Are beauty pageant contestants more liberal these days? When asked about marijuana laws Miss America contestant for the state of Iowa gave this answer...
Media: Naively trying to be the next "Gangnam style" or "planking" an Australian newspaper has attempted to manufacture a viral dance (to grease up Ellen DeGeneres who is coming to film a few eps of her show in March). They failed miserably and have created a train wreck of modern media. Watch the 'Down Under Dance' moves (yes, DUD is a gift) which includes wiping your snotty nose on the back of your hand ...
Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz
And how ironic that in the same column that lists phrases which exasperate, and have "done their dash", that you then make reference to Gangnam Style. Because Gangnam Style did its dash the first time I watched half of it on You Tube. Nek minnit I'm wondering how a chubby Korean bloke who can't dance and whose lyrics you can't understand is getting 10 billion views.
Perhaps it's those Christians you mention, viewing multiple times.
By the way, for those who didn't detect the irony in me using it, "Nek minnit" was never "good" or funny. It was some stoned-looking guy with a speech impediment. I despair of society sometimes. It's ridiculous how big some of these things get because people are sheep and have this fear of missing out or not being cool. And of course the internet is to blame. People see things with millions of "likes" or "views" so think it must be cool, and forward it to friends or family, when really it's just stupid. You can add "beached as bro" to that list.