Herald on Sunday editorial: Predicting the future, it's a game for mugs

5:30 AM Sunday Jan 6, 2013

Not happening this year: Teachers paid on time and in full. Photo / APN

It's a tough job predicting the future - just ask Ken Ring. His attempts at picking when more earthquakes would strike Christchurch led to a public outcry that forced him into hiding.

Which just proves how brave, or foolish, you have to be to stick your head above the parapet.

We at the Herald on Sunday are a bit smarter than that: if we could predict the future, we'd be running the New York Times.

It's a much safer bet to stick with the certainties in life, or at least the ones you know will never happen.

So here's our tips for what we'd love to see this year, but know they have no chance of happening. If by some miracle they do though, you read it here first.

• New Zealand teachers paid on time and in full. Or a Minister of Education who will do something about making it happen.

• A test rugby season without some thug taking to Richie McCaw's head.

• John Banks and Winston Peters to realise the country would be much better off without them involved in politics.

• Chief executives holding their pay increases to below 5 per cent, and increasing their workers' upwards instead.

• TV stations to focus on quality local-made TV, rather than cheap-and-nasty reality shows.

• New Zealand beaches become smokefree - like parks and playgrounds. More than 35,000 cigarette butts wash up in Hauraki Gulf daily.

• Our economy rebounds without relying on Auckland house prices to drag it up.

• The Minister of Transport, or his associate, or a deputy, or even a casual acquaintance of any of them, to explain how their failure to move on drink-drive limits, and their lack of action on alcohol reform in general, is anything but protection of the liquor industry.

• A Black Caps cricket team that can actually play.

• Apple holding off at least 12 months before releasing its latest iPhone, or iWhatever, and sucking up more money.

• The Government and Auckland Council agree on at least three transport priorities for the nation's biggest city.

• Power companies and banks to lower their charges - or at least justify their extraordinary profits.

• The Christchurch rebuild to be finished. Or should that be started. And all residents paid out by insurance companies who are dragging the chain.

• Bus drivers who obey the road code.

All possible ... but very unlikely. Happy New Year.

- Herald on Sunday

TheOwl (Auckland Central) | 11:09AM Monday, 07 Jan 2013

John Banks and Peters retire, never they are going to die in their comfey parliamentary chairs. Their should be a age limit on parliament or at least a driving test on memory ability.

Watcher (New Zealand) | 11:09AM Monday, 07 Jan 2013

I'd love to see the lack of action on the drink drive issue explained too. It's 25 years since my 26yr old, six months pregnant sister was killed by a drunk driver with 5 previous convictions and there have been little or no changes since then - oh, you can be charged with killing the unborn child now - back then, he wasn't - her wee life was meaningless.

The driver that killed my sister got a $2000 fine and 2yrs loss of license - pretty much what you would expect now too. Maybe it will take someone ' important' to lose a child eh - as if their loss and their grief is any more important than ours.

Dread Pirate Roberts (New Zealand) | 10:49AM Wednesday, 09 Jan 2013

Banks to justify their extraordinary profits? Didn't you publish something by Kirk Hope (chief executive of the Banker's Association) justifying banking profits on Nov 4 last year? It was mostly bollocks, of course, but they have given their justification, by claiming profits are low (when measured against assets rather than equity).

If you don't like that explanation, maybe take them to task properly?