nzherald.co.nz

Keeping Mum: Everyone's talking teetotal

By Dita De Boni
9:25 AM Tuesday May 22, 2012
When you're a parent you have to pick wine time carefully. Photo / Thinkstock

When you're a parent you have to pick wine time carefully. Photo / Thinkstock

Everyone seems to be talking about being teetotal these days. Between the Hello Sunday Morning campaign, to putting the age limit back up, to walking through the disgusting mess that is drunken revelry on Queen Street of a Saturday night, to even my boss Nicky Park ditching the booze for a while, it's the hot topic of the moment.

My husband abstains, but I like a drink. I don't like heaps - I was never much into benders anyhow - but usually have a single glass of red wine about four evenings a week (less if I have forgotten to pick some up, which also happens sometimes). But I find with young children you have to be super-judicious about when it happens. The best time for the slummy mummy is about 5 o'clock, but it's a bad time for someone in charge of a horde of children. It gives a nice little laid-back buzz for a few minutes but on the wrong days it can sap the energy and turn you into an exhausted heap well before the end of witching hour.

You also have to be careful that you are not going to be called on suddenly to drive a sick child somewhere. I would have thought this was a fairly rare occurrence until this week when, on Monday night, this household had to visit the A&E twice. One child had an asthma attack requiring Redipred. As soon as she was settled anther - the baby - started howling. Back we trekked to the emergency rooms, to be told he had an ear infection.

I'm far from congratulating myself on my modest alcohol intake, but I do thank my parents for normalising alcohol for me right from a young age where drinking a glass of wine with dinner was nothing special. Even in this scenario there are certain forms of liquor that retain a mystique that a teenager feels the need to uncover, and it would be stupid to claim that all parents serving wine with dinner would mean zero teenage issues with the stuff.

But certainly I feel it should be the job of parents to teach drinking habits. No number of liquor labels, gross tv ads, school ball after-party bans and other legislation can ever possibly do the same job as your parents casually offering you one glass - and implicitly threatening to flay you alive if you made a drunken idiot of yourself.

Perhaps - again - it is getting older and becoming more conservative about things, but I can't help feeling uneasy when I see young children in the presence of people drinking anything more than very lightly. Much of looking after littlies is adequate supervision, and it seems inconceivable to me that you can be doing that when too much liquor is involved. How can people cope with the incredibly early mornings, the vigour and the vim of young children, through the fog of either drunkenness or a hangover?

This applies both to boozy BBQs as well as other scenarios such as this weekend, when I saw a group of young children getting out of a car, and out came an adult male drinking a can of RTD and carrying several more. He wasn't the driver, which was a good start, but I felt a bit uneasy about how things could potentially pan out for the kids. It was only lunchtime. At the least they will be deprived of his company for the day. Hopefully nothing worse.

Perhaps this is a case of 'PC gone mad' too - something people of my age group always fear they suffer from - probably in the 1970s plenty of parents got together for lots of drinks and the kids entertained themselves and everyone's still alive aren't they? Fine? Through much of human history.... etc.

Still, I find raising three children exhausting enough without adding to the strain on my body so perhaps I am just a lightweight, but until the kids really are old enough to fend for themselves it will be a modest glass or two for me. By that time my almost senior-citizen body will probably be too clapped out to have more than half a shandy anyhow.

By Dita De Boni
Gandalf (St Heliers) | 12:54PM Tuesday, 22 May 2012
I dont think you have a chance of a responsible wine drinking style of culture, except in maybe the upper middle classes. That culture developed in Europe over hundreds of years, handed down from parents to children. Lets face it we are a beer and spirits drinking society and its not going to change.
I think you accept people will drink and even get drunk occassionally but you strengthen the ability of the law to discourage the big excesses. I recall under Muldoon it was all absurdly restricted, its swung too far in the opposite extreeme.
Raymo (Massey) | 12:55PM Tuesday, 22 May 2012
I've never understood the point of getting drunk to the point of losing self-control. Mind you, I'm alcohol intollerant, so I will never have a chance to understand. A bit of alcohol is good for you, even the bible eludes to it. But why get drunk to the point where one would likely do something of regret less remember it. Children get their values and perspective in live most from their parents. So teaching them to drink alcohol responsibly is definitely their parents' responsibility.
TheOwl (Auckland Central) | 12:55PM Tuesday, 22 May 2012
A lot of legal practices in society are harmful to some, does society need to be that bubblewrapped to protect itself from itself, where do we do draw the line. Why not jump on all the bandwagons, ban gambling, ban sex outside marriage, cars kill, playing sport kills and injures thousand. Lets have the thought police and agree to ban books anyone wants banned, lets all make Church going compulsory to save our souls. We can even make being non-religous illegal and a criminal offence, whats a suitable punishment for that.
Whats the price of freedom and making the most of what life has to offer all at others expense of its enjoyment, just so some can have a moral high ground.
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