Eric Thompson: Plenty of talent for dork awards

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Inconsiderate or reckless driving behaviour has caused many fatal car accidents. Photo / Chris Skelton
Inconsiderate or reckless driving behaviour has caused many fatal car accidents. Photo / Chris Skelton

The majority of those who took the time to comment on nzherald.co.nz in response to the Flat Chat Holiday Dork Award in this column last week have been quite spectacular.

Hence, I have decided to include some of the better nominations in today's column:

* My nominations are for three drivers (on different occasions) who cut into the end of the overtaking lane so late they nearly took out both myself and another car.

* However, my award goes to the driver of a camper van, travelling at 100km/h along State Highway 1 at 6.30am on New Year's Eve, in the thick cloud mist and torrential rain, with no lights on.

* Heading north to work on SH20 past Auckland Airport, I crossed the Mangere Bridge and moved into the left lane to take the Onehunga turn-off.

About 10-15m into the off-ramp, the car behind me suddenly pulled out to the right, overtook me and the car in front, and pulled back into line, only to wait with all the other traffic backed up as usual behind the Nielson St traffic lights. I have no idea why this nut was in such a rush to get two cars ahead, but he could easily have caused a serious accident.

* On medium to long driving trips, our family plays "spot the idiot" - driving behaviour that is either inconsiderate, ignorant or downright reckless. There is never a dull moment once this game starts.

* My nomination is the tourist who took the best part of a minute to get his car off the Opua ferry while everyone else waited, and then proceeded to drive at 40-55km/h all the way to Russell with the whole ferry-load of cars behind him.

* I nominate the Einstein who set the 90km/h speed limit from the foot of the Bombays through Maramarua. It is apparently safer to travel slower. Traffic was travelling at an appalling 20km/h.

* I nominate every idiot who travels at 80km/h until they reach a passing lane, then speeds up. Also, the morons who pull out in passing lanes and trundle along beside the other vehicle.

* I love the ones who pull out in front of you on the 100km/h main road when no one is behind you, when they could have waited two seconds for you to go past. Then they dawdle along at 60km/h for 500m, then turn into a driveway.

* Having stopped at the lights and leaving a gap behind the car in front so oncoming cars could turn in front of me, the fool behind me drove up on the inside and plugged the gap!

* Idiots driving mum's Honda Odyssey as if it's a Bugatti Veyron.

* I thought the family in the Toyota Previa on the Desert Rd at Christmas had to take the cake. A blind corner heading south, and around comes the Previa on the wrong side of the road. It appeared that the family were all looking at a mobile phone held up in a woman's hand. At least three people were hanging over the front seats. When the horn and brakes of my vehicle were applied, the Previa swerved back to the right side of the road. All I got was the finger from a young one out the back window.

- NZ Herald

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