The first great conspiracy of the 2010 World Cup has emerged.
It comes complete with innocent victims, millions around the world devastated and a shadowy multi-billion dollar corporate.
Look at the evidence. What do Wayne Rooney, Fabio Cannavaro and Cristiano Ronaldo have in common?
They all performed like turkeys. Ones that had already been stuffed, roasted and set on the table.
And they all appeared in Nike's pre-World Cup Write the Future adverts.
Rooney could have been knighted in the ads or he could have become a despised figure, bearded and living in a gypsy caravan. Which is more likely now?
Italy's beloved centre-half was supposed to be a star on the talk-show circuit with songs in his honour, but his reigning world champion team left in shame after the first round unable even to defeat that rag-tag bunch from New Zealand.
And Ronaldo? They should have been building a statue in his honour, but he was last seen in the second round crashing out against Spain with the commentator saying in the 78th minute: "It has to be said that Cristiano Ronaldo has been a peripheral figure in this game. We've hardly seen him."
Coincidence? I think not.
And if people remain unconvinced, there is more compelling evidence.
The other star of the Nike advert was Brazil's Ronaldinho...who was not selected to play for his country and never even made it to South Africa.
There are also cameos in the ad. Frenchman Franck Ribery is Rooney's nemesis - and look what happened to the French: ordered to fly home economy class in disgrace.
Finally, there is Cesc Fabregas from Spain. He has got off lightly as Spain are through to the quarter finals, but is it simply coincidence that he has been stuck to the substitutes bench making only brief appearances on the field?
Nike, meanwhile, continues to make millions selling sports gear while nations around the world are in mourning at the death of their football dream.
And the most compelling evidence of all; Nike is an American corporate and American corporates are always behind conspiracies.
I rest my case (and change my identity and go into hiding).