According to the Daily Telegraph, these are the eight things you should never say out loud.

1. "GETMEOUTGETMEOUTGETMEOUT." In a lift.

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2. "Group hug." At the end of an important meeting.

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3. "I just don't understand how the internet works." To your boss.

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4. Responding to any question in a foreign accent. Ever. Bad.

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5. "Don't worry, all babies are a bit weird-looking." To a new mother.

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6. "You look fine." When someone asks you how they look.

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7. "Do you think you really need another drink?"

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8. "I love your little..." House/penis, as appropriate.

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